sevenimpossiblethings



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    19 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “No vodka?” Rozanov asks, tsking in disapproval but looking amused. “What then? What does the great Shane Hollander want when he does a good job? What is your vice, Hollander?”

    “Hmmmm, mangoes,” Shane sighs out wistfully. It’s not a dangerous allergy for him, but it does mean being itchy and sometimes a little queasy for a couple of days after. Really he knows that he should probably avoid them altogether, but with every other restriction he has and with how controlled he is with his life even outside of that, it’s his one little indulgence, a pressure-relief valve of one bad choice to let some steam off at the end of a season, when he carves out time in his cottage when he can make his annual bad choice and enjoy a few days of wild mango madness before he makes himself buckle back into the restraints he usually keeps his life in.

    He looks up when he hears Rozanov snort.

    “Mangoes?” Rozanov repeats, tugging his shirt over his head. “Really?”

    “They’re good,” Shane defends. “Better than vodka,” he adds, pointedly.

    (shane has food allergies but makes an exception for mangoes) (5 times ilya didn't find out about this allergy and 1 time he did)

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    16 Jun 2026

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    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    uhhh so im on r/shanehollander rn and some guy is claiming to have cloned shane’s dad’s phone and uploaded it to the internet?? has anyone else clicked on this link will it give me a virus if i do

    7:03 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 135.1k retweets | 232.1k likes

    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    okay I googled his dad and he’s a 52 year old forensic accountant who thinks fashion peaked with ralph lauren polo shirts. am I enough of a hollander simp to risk my laptop just to look through the phone of his dad who acts like sandals and bermuda shorts are a risqué choice. yes.

    7:04 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 137.1k retweets | 235.9k likes

    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    oh my god his password for everything is ShaneHollander24. pov you love your son so much that it compromises your bank account

    7:04 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 143.7k retweets | 250.7k likes

    Shandry's Third @shaneybaby

    HOLY FUCK

    7:19 P.M. | 12 Jan 2018 | 337.1k retweets | 413.3k likes

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    15 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Later when complete.

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    Ilya Rozanov has shared a file with you: Sex_statistics_presentation_2017.ppt

     

    (or: Ilya drops a bunch of hints about his love life to his teammates. They do not pick up on them)

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    13 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 20

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    The door bangs open.

    Anger swiftly replaces his self-demolition. Ilya Rozanov is shutting the door behind him as if it’s expected for him to be there, like he and Shane discussed ahead of time to meet. His hands go into the pockets of his slacks when the door is closed, eyes cataloging the room with a detached casualness that makes Shane’s blood boil. He couldn’t even wait a second before coming to shit talk, could he?

    “The fuck do you want?” Shane pushes himself off the counter, turning to face Ilya.

    Ilya blinks at him like he’s surprised to see him. “Oh, well, I was waiting for you to leave so I could follow.”

    “Seriously?”

    “Yeah, I wasn’t sure you would get the hint if I got up first so I just waited for when you would inevitably run out to shit yourself.”

    It's time for the Boston Conservatory of Dark Arts to elect a new prefect for the next year. The candidates are Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov, both elite witches of their class and both still not over the turbulent relationship that ended four years ago.

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    13 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Later when complete.