salmonox



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  1. The Pitt (TV) (1)

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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Please,” he says finally, voice breaking as he gives in. “Fuck, please, Rozanov, I’m gonna—”

    Rozanov pulls all the way back, mouth releasing his cock with a noise that makes Shane’s hips rock up into nothing.

    “Rozanov,” he begs again.

    “Hmm?” Rozanov asks, kissing Shane’s shaking thigh gently. “You need something?”

    “You— fuck— you said I could come,” Shane says, trying to keep the accusatory note out of his voice.

    “Mhm. When you say my name, yes?”

    “I did!” Shane insists, just a hint of a whine in his tone now. Rozanov smirks at him.

    “Oh, sweetheart,” he says. “My first name.”

    OR:

    Ilya does something a little different on tuna melt day.

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    15 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov is in love, closeted, catastrophically lonely, and apparently incapable of referring to Shane Hollander in present tense.

    The Centaurs come to a- given the circumstances- reasonable conclusion.

    Or:
    Five times the Centaurs thought Ilya Rozanov was mourning his dead wife, and the one time they discovered his wife was actually Shane Hollander.
    Shane, for the record, is alive and really confused.

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    12 Jun 2026

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    “If I gave Jackie a day of getting to have sex with me whenever she wants as a thank you for tidying the living room, I think she’d divorce me,” Hayden says.

    “Nah, man, she’d kill you,” J. J. says, which is probably true.

    Shane shrugs. “That sounds like a straight people problem.”

    Hayden is truly glad that the times of Shane torturing himself by being in the closet are over. But. Well. This conversation is kind of making him miss those days.

    ---

    Finally, after everything, Shane is a happily married man. Incredibly happily married. It only becomes a problem once he thinks it qualifies him to dispense relationship advice.

    Or, five times Shane gives relationship advice his friends disagree with, and one time he doesn’t.

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    09 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Five times Shane Hollander acts (surprisingly) unhinged online and the five times Ilya acts unhinged back.

    Series
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    1/1
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    09 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    09 Jun 2026