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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    In which Shane Hollander's pubic hair goes viral, the internet colour-matches it to Pantone 15-1214 (Warm Sand), and Ilya Rozanov - creates accounts on Reddit, TikTok, Instagram, Tumblr, AND YouTube to anonymously defend his not-boyfriend's crotch using genetics Wikipedia and advanced hockey analytics.

    Features: a one-star Calvin Klein review ("very poor elastic, ruined my life"), Svetlana and Rose who have never once been wrong, and the most romantic use of the word "melanocytes" in the history of the English language according to Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
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    11,506
    Chapters:
    1/1
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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Life feels so chaotic for Shane sometimes, with all the loud noises and the unwritten rules he’s expected to follow, even though no one ever taught them to him. It’s why the bookstore feels more like home to him than anywhere else in Boston. It doesn’t ask Shane to be anything other than himself. Doesn’t ask for any more than he can give.

    He can just exist here.

    Shane likes slow, likes taking his time. And Ilya - without saying or doing anything in particular - makes Shane feel like that’s okay. Like he isn’t doing anything wrong by standing still sometimes.

    (Or, Shane works in a bookstore, Ilya plays hockey, and they both go to the same college. They fall in love in every universe.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,218
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    803
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    09 Jun 2026

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  3. Rec *

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    Shane is in the front pew. His face is—Ilya does not have words for what Shane's face is doing. He has seen Shane angry and afraid and exhausted and soft and undone. He has never seen this: living at the very bottom of a person, surfacing only when every single thing above it has given way.

    This is what it looks like when Shane has nothing left to manage.

    Ilya reaches for him.

    His hand passes through air.

    -

    Or: Ilya Rozanov turns the same age his mother was when she died. Featuring strange dreams, tarot readings, and a woman with her back to him who keeps appearing where she shouldn’t.

    A man who spent twenty years preparing to die, and one husband who refuses to let him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,210
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    133
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    548
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    287
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    11,907

    26 May 2026

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    i’m crying. i’m crying. i’m crying.

    how lovely it is to have read this story. it is two am and i’m crying. grief and depression are so similar and yet so different. beautifully raw and incredibly close to my heart in terms of my own grief. 10/10

  4. Rec *

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    Good riddance, he thinks. Or maybe feels obligated to think. He’s not sure. It feels like a natural thing to think about a brother who hit you and insulted you and extorted you for most of your short, miserable time together. He’s thought about it before, Alexei dying. The life he lived had not been conductive to longevity.

    I am the last Rozanov, he thinks, and that is an emotion he can parse, finally: closure. Like setting the last piece down in a puzzle.

    It’s only after the first puff of smoke escapes his lips that Ilya remembers Alexei’s daughter.

    Or:
    Two years after he gets married, Ilya Rozanov receives the news that his older brother has died.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,055
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    2,239
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    631
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  5. Rec *

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    Luca Haas is playing on a team with both his hockey idols, he's not the youngest on the team anymore, they made it to the playoffs last season, this season they're locked in from the start. Luca's also realizing that he's a bit alone on his team. He's known he's queer,for years. He knows his team would accept him, the way they've accepted Troy, Ilya, Shane and Harris but... His best friend asks about girls he's hooked up with, the other "kids" all talk about their conquests. He could talk to his captain about it but Ilya's busy figuring out marriage, parenting a teenager, and navigating the foster care system.

    Ash Holmberg still, kind of, wants to die. He's cycling through medications, attending therapy and doing everything he's supposed to be doing after inpatient treatment. His twin brother's moved him into the frat house he shares with two other professional hockey players. He knows that his brother would be wrecked if he actually died. So he draws and works and pretends like he's doing okay. And then he realizes how frat-bro-y his brother and his friends are and gets conscripted into helping turn all six of them into dateable adults.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    140,902
    Chapters:
    70/70
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