queenofconstellations



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    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    222,222
    Chapters:
    28/28
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    45,126
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    04 Jun 2026

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    Ilya knows firsthand that the world isn’t comfortable. It’s loud, bright, demanding, a harsh place in direct opposition to everything he’s recently learned about autism.

    Is it so wrong that he wants Shane to feel safe here? To carve out a space where, even if only for a few hours, he doesn’t have to grin and bear anything? He can just be?

    Or: Ilya Rozanov has a lot of good ideas. Telling his fuck buddy that he should consider getting an autism diagnosis isn’t one of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,094
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    1,254
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    20,085
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    18 Apr 2026

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    “I’m right here. And you are okay, and you are safe, and healthy, and you are at home, yes? It is quiet, and nobody is there, nobody is bothering you. And the world is full of stupid idiots, but you are not one of them. And I am here. When you need me, I am here.”

    ---------

    or: The whole world thinks Shane is gay because of some stupid internet rumors, and he doesn't even have to confirm it. He's losing control of his entire life and he needs somewhere to put what little he does have.

    Ilya has open hands.

    Language:
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    1/1
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    1,411
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    10,100
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    431,802

    01 Apr 2026

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    His outstretched glove hangs there, frozen, as the noise of the arena mutates into a ringing buzz. Then he’s moving, pushed away by Marlow, and then Boston’s goalie. There’s a flurry of movement, a trainer with a towel, more blood dripping onto the ice, and he just. Stands there. Staring.

    Ilya is helped off the ice. Shane doesn’t even tap his stick.

    Remember when Sidney Crosby caught a puck with his jaw? That doesn't happen to Shane. That happens to Ilya.

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    Language:
    English
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    72,072
    Chapters:
    9/9
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    2,284
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    12,017
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    4,272
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    299,613

    19 Mar 2026

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    selbindery (on ao3 and instagram!) has fic bound this entire series and it is so, so wonderful, please go check out their beautiful work of art here:

    https://www.instagram.com/p/DWhgjfuFsVr/?igsh=MTlmbDBvbDBmMG55bQ==

    (fic binding is only ever acceptable for personal use! do not attempt to sell or monetize fanfiction!)

    Words:
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    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    7,495

    17 Mar 2026