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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Before Shane and Rose get a chance to have that dinner alone, Boston and Montreal play against each other once more. Ilya’s body is flooded with ugly jealous energy. He misses Shane, he wants Shane, he’s upset with Shane. In a moment he will live to regret forever, he flies across the ice a little too fast and collides with Shane a little too hard. The sight of Shane’s body collapsing drains his soul.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,978
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    755
  2. Tags
    Summary

    The coffee shop meet-cute drabble you need to snack on today.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    200
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    172
  3. Tags
    Summary

    He has been blindfolded for so long, the darkness behind his eyelids begins to take colour. It shifts, expands, explodes. The more he tries to entertain himself with the constellations he sees, the more they transform.

    Hollanov Kink Week Day 7: Temperature play

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,132
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    114
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1,883
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Ilya looks around. “Where is lover boy?”

    “He’s not… we’re not…”

    Ilya’s head tilts, not in curiosity per se, more like amusement.

    Shane closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and reveals, “We broke up.”

    Hollanov Kink Week Day 4: Compatible

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,048
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    263
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    3,317
  5. Tags
    Summary

    When Yuna first utters the exact words -your sex tape has been leaked- something settles in Shane’s core.

    He continues to breathe as Ilya responds to her in disbelief. The phrases -not possible- and -locked safe- bounce off Shane’s ears as he blinks slowly. He directs his attention internally instead of joining the chaos, waiting for the inevitable symptoms.

    The chill that will rush through his limbs.

    The pool ball that will settle in the depths of his throat.

    Hollanov Kink Week Day 3: Exhibitionism

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,087
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    600
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    5,408
  6. Tags
    Summary

    “Do you want to talk about it this time?”

    Ilya shakes his head and grumbles. “No, I will be fine soon. Want you.”

    “Okay.”

    Ilya pulls his head back and finds Shane’s eyes. “Okay?”

    “Yep. You can have me.”

    “What? No fake resistance? No convincing?”

    Hollanov Kink Week Day 2: Restraint

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,091
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    223
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    2,671
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “So, you’re basically a sex expert, right?”

    Ilya’s spoon stops half way to his mouth.

    “I mean, not academically. But based on experience. You’ve had so much sex, it must be considered an expertise.”

    “Hollander, is seven in morning. Please, make more sense.”

    “I think I need your help with sex.”

    Hollanov Kink Week Day 1: Consent play

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,759
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    546
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    6,073
  8. Tags
    Summary

    I see you typing

    You can’t sleep either?

    No, not enough Shanes in my arms
    Two weeks of spooning has ruined me

    Same
    I have pillows on either side of me
    Still doesn’t feel like enough

    On their first night apart after the cottage trip, Ilya and Shane both find themselves struggling to sleep. They replicate the tried and true bedtime activities that are sure to help.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,188
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    209
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1,827
  9. Tags
    Summary

    David and Patrick have known each other for decades. They’ve been strangers, enemies, acquaintances, friends… you name it. Not even particularly in that order. They have been attending A Schitty Rose Camp since before David can even remember. So, it makes sense that after all these years together, Patrick would enjoy spending his time with David.

    It’s just… David has a feeling that’s not exactly what he’s admitting here. There’s something between the lines that he has to decipher.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,916
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    110
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    779
  10. Tags
    Summary

    A single elevator provides 24/7 service to the long term residents of 4856 Schitt’s Ave. From students to self made entrepreneurs; couples to folks who are single and certainly do mingle; the cheeriest souls to the most sinister of jokesters. The building prides itself on its diversity and inclusion. The only thing every resident has in common is that they’re very happy to live here. One day, however, that ceases to be the case when an unfamiliar family moves into the single penthouse on the tenth floor.

    ~~~

    Canon compliant up to and diverges from Episode: s01e01 Our Cup Runneth Over

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,874
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    364
  11. Tags
    Summary

    A very much enjoyable family cookout has David and Patrick loosing track of time. Instead of driving home after midnight, they decide to take Marcy up on her offer for them to sleep over in Patrick's old room. Everything is fine, until it's actually time for bedtime and David is left to face his regular insomnia in a strange room.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,040
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    135
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1,082
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “I, uh, might have fallen off a cliff. Again.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    792
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    161
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1,617
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The day Rachel turns fourteen years old is the happiest day of Patrick's life. Go figure, then, that the day Patrick turns fourteen years old is the worst day of Patrick's life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,355
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    137
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1,387
  14. Tags
    Summary

    The spitting image of David shoves the covers off of himself and jumps out of bed, mirroring David’s stance and keeping the bed between them.

    “What are you? A burglar? A demon?” David gasps, fear overtaking him. “Are you my ghost? Have I died?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,772
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    836
  15. Tags
    Summary

    From the first day David registers for a business license to run his new store, Patrick is with him every step of the way. He ensures all paperwork is filed accurately and successfully. He tracks and updates vendor lists as the store's target audience grows. And most importantly, he takes care of David when he starts working himself into exhaustion. Oh the trope, you ask? Well, Patrick isn't exactly human... he's... a computer.
    ~~~
    Canon compliant up to and diverges from Episode: s03e08 Motel Review

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,780
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    88
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    567
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “There was a point to this tangent, I’m sure of it,” Patrick huffs out a charming laugh-smirk combination to the audience to give the appearance that his mind isn't spiralling.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    324
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    126
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    875
  17. Tags
    Summary

    “You know, one would think you’d never seen someone play the piano before.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    351
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    123
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    986
  18. Tags
    Summary

    The feelings of home, comfort and warmth rouse David from his sleep. A happy sigh escapes him as he snuggles closer into his husband. Mmm, that's nice, it's not every day that he gets to wake up before Patrick.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,692
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    144
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1,292
  19. Tags
    Summary

    “I’m David, I’ll be your masseur for the evening. This hour is all about your comfort and satisfaction, so if at any point you feel uncomfortable for any reason please use the words pause, stop, or red. I’ll also be looking out for physical cues, if you don’t feel comfortable with the verbal ones. Raise your hand in the air in a fist like this, and I’ll stop immediately to discuss and go from there. Sounds good?”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,955
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    202
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2,191
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Alexis sends David a copy of So You Wanna Talk About Boys with a sticky tab placed on a page that displays an intricate web of questions designed to quiz the reader on the state of their sex life. Except, it arrives at the house before David is back from his business trip with Stevie.

    If she didn’t want the quiz to land in the wrong husband’s hands, she really should have tried harder.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,852
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    300
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    3,954

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