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you are the angel that i couldn’t kill by parotcards
Fandoms: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
11 Jan 2022
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there’s a lot of content about eating disorders in here so please be cautious if you have any issues with food. if you’d like someone to talk to, my tumblr @parotcardsroxy or @nadja-dyke is open. stay safe <3
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Jan used the blood as a punishment. It would always come back up, laced with water or rabies, and it was a terrible reminder of their monstrosity. Days began to blur, between the starvation and the exercise and the fucked up sleep schedule, and the only thing keeping him grounded was the nightly fang pulling. The pain was a stark reminder of his vampirism, that he had to work harder to become human, because Nandor the Relentless just wanted to be normal again.
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Healy didn’t have a body count. He wasn’t Jack the Ripper… or Amelia’s mother. But that’s not to say he was a saint. Blueface was dead because of him, and John Boy would have been too if Holly hadn’t stepped in.
This may be the one and only time Healy would ever break that promise. It was almost half past ten by now, and most neighbors would be asleep. If he acted quickly, none of them would hear the gunshot or Johnson scream. It had to be quick, despite how badly Healy wanted to slow down and make that fucker suffer.
Johnson’s hand- probably sweaty, clammy- had found a new home on March’s ankle, where his slacks had ridden up, where his knees were bent.
Squeeze. Settle. Squeeze. Settle. Thumb-rubbing back and forth.
“Holly,” Healy whispered, rounding the counter. “Get the gun.”
__________Or: Healy is jealous of March's cop friend and does something about it.
Bookmarked by parotcards
14 Jul 2026
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She stumbled slightly and the man closed the distance, grabbing the back of her bag. She quickly slipped her arm out and took off. She was four houses down when she started yelling.
“Dad! Mr. Healy!”
She was two houses down when March stumbled out the front door, eyes wide and frantic. His eyes went from Holly to the man behind her.
“Holly!”
OR, Healy realizes he is more protective of this new family than he thought.
Bookmarked by parotcards
13 Jul 2026
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Holly gets her first period, and she asks Healy for help.
Bookmarked by parotcards
13 Jul 2026
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I Think I Love You (So What Am I So Afraid Of?) by CastorTheGhost
Fandoms: The Nice Guys (2016)
12 May 2026
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Jackson Healy is not a family man, nor is he a relationship man. He learned that one the hard way after the divorce.
So, can someone tell him why he’s standing at the cash register of a dollar store, watching Holland March fiddle with his wallet with a giant poster board under his armpit, while a pile of markers of all colors and stationery sits on the conveyor belt? Though he supposes that’s another one of life’s great mysteries, and something he’ll wake up every morning asking himself.
Bookmarked by parotcards
13 Jul 2026
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Summary
Holland March isn't in denial. He knows he likes men, okay? And he's fine with it, really, he is. Even if he doesn't exactly act on it that often.
But being attracted to Jackson fucking Healy? His business partner, housemate, and—let's face it—best friend, who's nearly two decades older than him? The ex-bruiser who was already kind of fat before he went and broke his leg and gained like thirty more pounds on top of it?
And what does it say about March that he wants Healy even more now?
Yeah, he thinks it's understandable to have a bit of a crisis about that.
(In other words: Holland "I didn't know I was into that" March learns several things about himself when he accepts that he wants to fuck that old man.)
Series
- Part 1 of they're not that nice
Bookmarked by parotcards
11 Jul 2026