ohboyohno
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“I’m gonna say something, but you can’t get mad at me,” he says. Bobby is silent, but that’s not much different from how he’d usually react to such an opening from Buck, so he takes that as his go-head anyway. “I think this may be all my fault.”
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“Is there someone here by the name of Theo by chance?” The other figure asks.
Theo's head pops from behind Eddie’s leg, looking at the sight in front of him. “Ravi? Uncle Harry?” Theo questions, his head tilting like that of a confused puppy.
“What?! Who are those guys? We are Santa’s helpers!” Ravi supplies with animated enthusiasm, one that slowly dies as Theo expression deadpans. “Alright! Harry!” Ravi claps him on the back loudly. “Maybe you take this over.”
“Right, uh… We are Santa’s helpers and we heard through the–” he glances down, attempting to appear subtle as he reads what looks like sharpie on his hand before placing it back behind his back, “candy cane line alllll the way down at the North Pole that somebody doesn’t believe in Santa?”
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Bookmarked by ohboyohno
23 Jul 2026
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The bruises mottle Buck’s skin, like paint splattered clumsily on a canvas. Except—the artist behind this, whoever they are, clearly went about it with intent and precision. A curator of hickeys; Buck’s pale thighs like the walls of a gallery. A thriving one, at that. It’s… a lot of marks.
Eddie wonders if it hurts. Well—he knows that part already, at least based on what Buck told him a few minutes ago. So instead, Eddie starts to wonder if it hurt. The procedure behind the photo; the act of being marked up so irrefutably.
Buck reacts to Eddie’s thumbs up message with a thumbs down.
Buck: I just accidentally sexted you dude
Don’t 👍👍👍👍 meOr: Eddie receives an unintended photo. Then he bites some thighs about it.
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Bookmarked by ohboyohno
23 Jul 2026
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Alright, now to prove he’s right.
Finger on the cursor, Buck types an a to start.
Google, in all its autocomplete glory, gives Buck some options. Four suggestions stack top to bottom in whatever order Google decides matters most on any given evening, and the four that come up under Buck's single letter are, in order:
am i gay quiz (visited 2 days ago)
Amazon (visited 5 days ago)
american airlines
ammonia bleach mix
Buck stops chewing the inside of his cheek — which, honestly, he didn’t even realize he was doing.
That’s — huh.
That’s not what he was expecting at all.
Or,
Buck uses Eddie's laptop and sees something he isn't supposed to see. He reacts accordingly.Bookmarked by ohboyohno
23 Jul 2026
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The phone lights up on the coffee table. It's a number he half-recognizes — a few weeks back a package for his apartment went to 4D by mistake, and he texted the guy to sort it out, and the guy wrote back a paragraph and a half about how the mail situation in this building was, his words, "a war crime." Eddie didn't save the number. He meant to. It just lives in his phone now as a stranger, and the stranger is texting him.
Unknown: hey. HEY. ok this is the package guy from 4D. ur 4B. i need to ask u somethign and its important
Unknown: u have the good dog right
Eddie: Who is this?
Unknown: i JUST said. package guy. 4D. anyway i hear his little feet in the hallway sometiems. tap tap tap. like a tiny gentleman. and i need to know hes real
Eddie knows who this is. Big guy, loud, holds the elevator and then narrates the entire ride down.
Eddie: Are you drunk?
Unknown: thats a seperate issue from the dog
Which is not a no.
Eddie: [image]
Unknown: OH MY GOD
Or,
Eddie gets a series of drunk texts from his hot neighbor.Bookmarked by ohboyohno
23 Jul 2026
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Without waiting for a reaction or reply, the man bore down on the gas and peeled down the highway, leaving Buck stranded in the middle of nowhere somewhere along Interstate 10.
And as Buck watched the red brake lights of his Jeep disappear into the distance, clutching his prescription of blood thinners tightly to his chest... there was really only one thing left to do. Tilting his head back until he was staring at the stars, he took a deep breath and screamed into the night:
“Fuck!”
And much like every other one of his recent cries for help, it had gone unanswered.
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Buck gets carjacked, held at gunpoint, and stranded in Arizona the day before his first shift post-lawsuit. And that's only the beginning of his troubles.
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Bookmarked by ohboyohno
23 Jul 2026