nopunk



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Stuck in an alt-world where he and Shane never hooked up as teenagers, Ilya is determined to get Shane back. To do that, Ilya has to figure out a way to get Shane to see him as anyone other than the Russian asshole who has spent a decade pissing him off. It can't be that hard to make your husband fall in love with you... right?

    Basically: Shane Hollander makes a wish with good intentions. Ilya Rozanov wakes up confused, single, closeted, and miserable in Boston.

    +Bonus Chapter where AltWorld!Ilya wakes up confused, married, out, and carefree in Ottawa

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,150
    Chapters:
    8/8
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    1,821
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    17,190
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    24 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane’s brain cycled rapidly through a half-dozen celebrities, porn actors, Grindr profiles, every attractive bartender who’d ever served him a beer, trying to find a comparison for this level of outrageously concentrated beauty in one person, but he was drawing a blank.

    The man—Ilya Rozanov, Facilities Attendant, his badge read—gestured around the supply closet. “I help you find something?”

    --
    Canon-divergent AU set during the 2017-18 MLH season. Shane Hollander doesn’t have a single Cup to his name when he meets a very hot and very annoying janitor who works at the Metros stadium.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,863
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    602
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    2,710
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    950
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    15 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Shane has boyfriend?"

    “Mom thinks so. He’s dodging my texts, but it definitely seems like he’s seeing someone.”

    Ilya's whispered "No" was drowned out by a loud snort from another teammate, who said something like, "Good for lil' bro."

    Ilya shouldn’t feel like dying. Should have expected this to happen at some point. Deserved it, even. He had been ghosting Shane for months, after all.

    In which Ilya knows he's not good enough to be with his best friend's little brother. He spirals over Shane possibly dating someone else nonetheless.

    Alternatively, Ilya will always be the one Shane will still run to.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,249
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    111
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    3,441
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    716
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    06 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Rozanov pins Shane down, fucks into him like he almost hates him, gets a hand around his cock, rough and deliberate, and says it low against his ear—go ahead, try it. Say her name one more time, I fucking dare you—and Shane opens his mouth and sobs into the pillow and nothing else comes out. Just tears and the blood under his nails from Rozanov's back. Then he finds the angle he's been finding since Nashville, and the name is gone entirely.

    That's also, more or less, the point.

    Shane hates him for that. He hates him the way you hate something that keeps being right about you.

    -

    Or: Shane spends nine years building a structure so airtight it functions as a personality, and Ilya Rozanov spends nine years being the single thing that doesn't fit inside it.

    Featuring crazy situationship sex, the complications of sometimes being a terrible person, and one unhinged fixation on Svetlana Vetrova, 31 photos deep, that was never about Svetlana Vetrova.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,612
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    178
    Kudos:
    695
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    311
    Hits:
    19,058

    06 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    As a straight man, Ilya Rozanov has never had a gay roommate before, but it’s going pretty well. Shane Hollander is kind, silly, and an even bigger hockey nut than Ilya.

    So when Shane starts bringing men over, and Ilya begins to want to bash their fucking heads in, Ilya comes to a startling conclusion: He must be homophobic.

    (He’s jealous.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,186
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    4,138
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    40,661
    Bookmarks:
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    532,498

    02 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    ROOMMATES + SHANE BEING ILYA'S BI AWAKENING. perfect.