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    Finally, something dawns on him, a way to handle two goals simultaneously. He’d seen Hollander’s mother flipping through papers rapidly when they first got here, seeming calm and in control and more than a little frightening in a way that made Ilya mildly glad he wasn’t one of the people responsible for a clipboard. If anyone can tell him if the long list of “Prohibited Items” he’d been sent in his email a few days ago is just standard practice for big shoots, it would be Yuna Hollander.

    Or, hopefully, her son.

    “Crazy we cannot even have peanut butter, eh?” He asks. “You also got giant list?”

    Hollander stiffens, almost imperceptibly, and Ilya tilts his head, just slightly, confused, wondering if he’s stumbled somewhere unexpected.

    (how ilya learns about shane's allergies) (and shane's sexual awakening tragically hits a speedbump in the process 😔)

    (chapters can standalone but will be updated as inspiration strikes)

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    06 Jul 2026

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    Bood is right about the fines, but Ilya’s worst habit is that he just can’t stop digging his own grave. Voronin is so goddamn smug, and Comeau is smirking like he’s punched Ilya in the face with his own championship ring; Ilya can’t help but want to make things worse.

    Ilya yanks himself free of Bood and skates closer to the Voyageurs. He tilts his lips away from the cameras before he speaks. “I know you think you are Montreal’s new Shane Hollander, karlusha,” he whispers, “but you do not need to fuck me, too.

    Voronin shoves him away with a laugh. “I would rather be Montreal’s Shane Hollander than Shane Hollander’s Lily.

    And suddenly, Ilya knows why Comeau’s words were so familiar.

    He drops his gloves and breaks the rookie’s perfect little teeth.


    TMZ @tmz
    BREAKING: Thousands of explicit messages and pictures shared online after NHL player Shane Hollander’s phone stolen in Nashville

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    05 Jul 2026

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    26 May 2026

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    Shane and Ilya think two weeks at the cottage is the perfect time to switch off from the world, the internet has other plans. Shane's paranoia may have just paid off.

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    25 Jun 2026

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    your fave is problematic - yourfaveisproblematic.tumblr.com/post/6453061/ilya-rozanov
    Admin note: POST IS WIP
    1. Admitted to using the f-slur during his rookie year in the NHL and doubled down with ableist remarks on Twitter.
    2. He’s a stalinist and supports the unlawful slaughter of children.
    3. He’s supportive of the porn industry, which is notably exploitative and misogynistic.
    [cont…]

    subhollander reblogged ⇄ yourfaveisproblematic
    #first celeb ever to get cancelled for bisexual pegging porn im crying #also not be that person but that was amateur porn #so???

    torontoszamboni reblogged ⇄ subhollander
    so you’re also saying that the women were amateurish at their job???

    subhollander reblogged ⇄ torontoszamboni
    quick tell me what amateur porn means

    hunter4life reblogged ⇄ subhollander
    then let’s talk about the fact that he liked that tweet as a pr stunt to distract from the f-slur????

    russianlovemachine reblogged ⇄ hunter4life
    #shane: what are you doing #ilya, swallowing: public relations

    Ilya Rozanov lands himself on yourfaveisproblematic for—well, quite a few reasons.

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    21 Jun 2026

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