noodlefrog
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“Look, I know we are on holiday right now,” Wyll begins. “No work. Just sight-seeing and relaxation. But…”
Wyll gives him an absolute masterwork of a smile. It’s charming without being too pushy, the kind of smile that says, “If you tell me that you want to go back to our lodgings, I will of course respect your wishes and will dispatch these foul monsters quickly and without a fuss. However, if you do find it in your heart to allow me to indulge in a quick spot of theatricality just this one time, I would consider it a kindness, and one that will be repaid.”
At least, that is what Astarion is choosing to interpret as the meaning of Wyll’s smile.
“Go on,” Astarion says, magnanimous. “You know you want to.”
With their wedding looming on the horizon, Wyll and Astarion decide to take a couple’s trip to spend time together and reconnect. Their holiday is supposed to be relaxing, fun, and low-pressure. It doesn’t entirely go according to plan.
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Too Sweet for Hell by noodlefrog for RosePetals9001
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
24 Apr 2026
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Astarion is the one who gets to curl up with Wyll at night, and kiss him, and soak up all that princely romance that Wyll can’t help himself but spill on anyone who gets too close. In turn, Wyll gets to kiss Astarion on that cute little pointy face and help him feel like a person again. He also gets the pleasure of being the only one Fangs trusts enough to be sweet with.
If Karlach could trade places with either one of them, even for a night, she would. But they have each other, and that’s what counts. They’re her friends, and they’re happy together, so she’s happy for them. And they do love her. Just the fact that they’re here in hell with her is proof of that. She knows that much even when she’s moping about how they don’t love her like she loves them.
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For all Mizora’s attempts to keep Wyll isolated and dependent on her, there is one thing she can never take from him: the Blade of Frontiers. In his head, Wyll rewrites his own story and tells himself tales of his ideal self. No pact binds the Blade, no stone eye sits in his socket, and he doesn’t have to thank a devil for the beard on his face or the depth of his voice. As he begins to unravel the mystery of Astarion’s easy charm and clumsy lies, Wyll even lets himself pretend that he could someday have a life beyond the hunt.
Mizora’s plans for Wyll go deeper than his pact, though. When she warps Wyll’s body into a shape of her own design, she also gives him a few gifts. Changes he has wanted for years are now permanently sculpted into his flesh with a fiendish twist, and Wyll can only ask himself… What would the Blade do?
Or: Wyll copes with his devil boner by writing fanfiction of his own alter ego, and Astarion tries out some high-stakes strategies for monster hunter seduction.
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Sit, Stay, Roll Over by noodlefrog for RosePetals9001
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
31 Dec 2025
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“I don’t… see how that will fix it,” Wyll admits.
“Because I know you.” Shadowheart says it like it is simple. Like this is a given. “When you find something to blame yourself over, you don’t stop worrying about it until someone either scolds you or forgives you.”
Sometimes, Wyll manages to forget that Shadowheart trained for decades in the art of prying secrets from people and discovering painful weaknesses to exploit.
Wyll seems to have accidentally trained Astarion to be sweet in exchange for snacks and praise… which, he’s sure, must be some kind of unforgivable breach of trust. Thankfully, some of his best friends know a thing or two about brainwashing. Who better than an ex-Sharran and an ex-Bhaalist to help him deprogram his fiance?
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Through all the pain and the anger and the shame, there is some tiny part of Astarion’s brain that is weirdly thrilled to see Cazador fail. Oh, Astarion would cast the amulet off in an instant if he could. It’s pointless. Stupid. Completely unhelpful. Tacky. Dangerous to his health and safety, certainly. All the same, Cazador ordered Astarion to take it off, and Astarion refused. Sure, it wasn’t exactly an intentional refusal, and he got himself brutally tortured for it, but this has been the first time in two hundred years that he has managed to disobey a direct order.
Any glee Astarion might have been feeling about that evaporates when Cazador orders him to crawl back into the tomb.
Astarion finds himself in possession of a cursed amulet that he cannot take off, even by his master’s command. It’s only after he’s sealed away in the tomb for his disobedience that he realizes the damned thing can talk.
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Summary
A Dark Urge/Astarion series featuring Tav, a ranger Durge who is interested in mitigating the risk of the Urge taking him over any way he can, even if some of those methods are not necessarily safe or sane. At current time of writing, he and Astarion are stumbling into a friends-with-benefits situation where one of the benefits is that it's harder to murder people in your sleep when you're experiencing mild-to-moderate blood loss.
Tone-wise, expect slice of life/slow-burn pacing and camp shenanigans, with plenty of The Power of Friendship to go around and a sprinkling of self-destructive behavior and some terrible coping strategies for spice. I put more specific content notes in the chapters that need extra explanation.
The first 2 stories are rated M for violence and discussion of past abuse. Later stories will mostly be rated E for explicit sexual content. Tav is transmasc, but that's less of a plot point and more of an anatomy situation and an excuse for me to play around with themes of identity, choice, and the horror of being in a body that doesn't always listen to you.
Each work can be read as a standalone piece without needing to read prior stories, but they do all fit together as one story.
- Words:
- 230,696
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 16
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And They Were Cultists by jellyfishline for fantailsock
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
12 May 2026
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Astarion has found a new lease on life, all thanks to the benevolence of the Absolute. No, living in a tower filled with cultists and having to deal with superior officers who think they can order him around is not exactly his idea of paradise, but anything is heaven compared to life under Cazador. He even gets his own room all to himself.
At least, until one Wyll Ravengard, newest member of the Absolute's ranks, is assigned to his room.
(In which Astarion and Wyll are swept up by the cult before the intervention of a certain magical artifact.)
- Language:
- English
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- 28,251
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- 3/3
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Bookmarked by noodlefrog
13 May 2026
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In which Wyll balances daddy issues, an attraction to Halsin, and the fickle whims of his many patrons.
Bookmarked by noodlefrog
30 Apr 2026
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Too easy, to imagine it like she’s really seen it a hundred times before, like it’s familiar to her as breathing, like there’s room for her to slip in. Like it’s anything more than a well-worn fantasy as easy to slip into as a favorite pair of shoes, perfectly broken in.
She shuts her eyes and it unfurls before her in her mind’s eye, nearly close enough to reach out and touch.
In which Wyll and Astarion accompany Karlach to Avernus, and she can't help wanting more.
Bookmarked by noodlefrog
24 Apr 2026
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Astarion did not have much in him to appreciate Cazador’s death when it happened.
For one thing, reality had dissolved a while back, and the day Cazador died, it had only dissolved further. Those tadpole-infected weirdos showed up again. Astarion had been chased out of camp after, well, the blood drinking gone wrong incident. And from there, it had been a short trip to getting caught by that Gur. From there, to death. And from death, back to Cazador.
Except, Cazador was now dead.
A zombified Astarion survives and is re-recruited by the party.
Bookmarked by noodlefrog
10 Mar 2026
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on asters and doves by not_whelmed_yet for Succorance
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
26 Mar 2026
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Wyll Ravengard is in love. Unfortunately, the man he loves is only interested in something casual, preferring to stay out of the blinding spotlight that is Wyll's life now that he's taken on the mantle of Grand Duke.
Astarion is in love. Unfortunately, the man he's in love with is:
1. The Grand Duke
2. Unaware he's a vampire
3. Going to get him killed if Cazador finds out- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,682
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 107
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- 204
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- 41
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- 2,844
Bookmarked by noodlefrog
27 Feb 2026