mybrainexploded



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “You liked that didn’t you?” Shane said with a smug little expression on his face.

    Really too many people called Ilya an asshole when Shane was just as bad, or worse. Shane just hid it better, because Canada’s perfect golden boy could do no wrong.

    Ilya moved to cross his arms over his chest and lean back against the headboard, hating how it put even more space between them, but not being able to let Shane think he was right.

    “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

    “Sure you don't, baby.”

    Ilya was definitely not starting to turn the slightest shade of red.
    -------
    Or: Ilya Rozanov learns he is in fact, Shane Hollander's baby.
    Chapter 2: Everyone else in their lives learns he is too.

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    06 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya was used to hazing. He had been subjected to it, he had participated in it, and, as a captain, he had stood guard over the rookies and protected them from anything truly harmful. But if he had been asked, Ilya would have approved of this prank. He would have authorized it, given Cliff and Vicky his seal of approval, perhaps even helped orchestrate it.

    Any other day, Ilya might have been happy to play along.

    But, in perfect dramatic irony, it had not happened any other day. It had happened today. And, cherry on top, of course the rookie had to walk in when Shane was already freaking out about Ilya saying his name.

    +++

    A prank-gone-wrong leads to the Boston Bears finding out about Shane and Ilya’s relationship in 2016. The day Ilya first invited Shane into his house. Right after they say each other’s names for the first time. Fuck his life, honestly.

    Series
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    30,173
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    3/3
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    06 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    In another life — or maybe the next one, or maybe the one before — Ilya Rozanov learns that some roads only lead to one place. No matter how you take them, the wolves are always waiting at the end.

    Maybe that's why, in December 2008, Ilya wakes up with the distinct, inexplicable sense, that he has already lived this life before.

    Some things, it turns out, are inevitable. The question is whether he is.

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    16 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Ch11

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane has always lived inside himself.

    Inside his head. Inside his routines. Inside the version of him everyone trusts to hold it all together. He has learned through the years how to be disciplined, successful, untochable—how to carry love and expectation withouth letting either slip.

    What he hasn’t learned is how to ask for help.

    Luckily, his boyfriend Ilya, who everyone believe is his rival, notices first. He starts to see the patterns Shane won’t name out loud and the silences that last a little too long. He loves Shane, and that means paying attention, even when what he finds is frightening, even when he struggles too.

    or

    Shane slowly develops an eating disorder during the time he and Ilya are secretly dating while still playing for Montreal and Boston, and Ilya is the first one to notice, and the first one to try to do something about it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    150,450
    Chapters:
    32/36
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    13 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    ch7 nr

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    "Norm, what year is it?” Jake asks willing his voice not to shake and also for the words to come out in unaccented English.

    “2154. Are you okay man?" Norm answers.

    No Jake is not okay. He is nearly 16 years in his past, right when everything started to go wrong. Why is he here, how is he here? He wants to break down but he can't because this shit is real and maybe just maybe he can start to atone for all the sin he has brought to this world.

    Language:
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    11/?
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    03 Feb 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Ch11