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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    The only trick is to have no fear, and even less fear than that the more trouble one is in. Ilya cannot teach that to a man who has directed his energies into becoming, not like a saint, but like a painting of a saint, all dripping in symbolism: the way the robe drapes here, yes, that is on purpose, and the angle of the light, the patron’s face in the crowd, the instrument of the martyrdom in his hand and the fruit in the bowl on the table, all arranged except when—

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,832
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    126
    Kudos:
    1,189
    Bookmarks:
    335
    Hits:
    7,936

    09 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Rush week confirms a lot of things. Ambitions, fears. Where do I fit? What if I don’t fit anywhere? Nervous freshman bitten-lip shit. Being an active, a senior, means having answers. Shane has no further questions.

    Or, Shane’s in a frat. Ilya rushes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,987
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    626
    Kudos:
    900
    Bookmarks:
    304
    Hits:
    21,413

    08 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    The truth was, yeah, Shane married Ilya, but he’d married hockey first. He married hockey the second he signed his rookie contract with the Metros, and his courtship began long, long before. And his marriage to hockey wasn’t like his marriage to Ilya. Hockey wouldn’t ever love him back. Ilya wasn’t going to chew Shane up and spit him out at some nebulous point after he turned thirty and before he turned forty, his joints busted and his mouth full of dentures and his brain fucked to hell and back. And that marriage—his first marriage—had always come before his second, illicit shotgun wedding.

    It wasn’t ideal, maybe, but that was just how things were. Hell, it was probably the same for Ilya, too. The fuck was Shane supposed to do about it? Nothing, nothing, nothing. He liked his life just the way it was. He didn’t want to do anything different. He still doesn’t. And that’s the worst, most shameful part of it all: at the end of the day, some part of Shane will always wish he could wind back time like adjusting a watch; erase that Instagram post before it ever hit the internet and go back to the life they’d had before; the life that was slowly killing them both.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,799
    Chapters:
    3/10
    Comments:
    221
    Kudos:
    623
    Bookmarks:
    126
    Hits:
    7,524

    29 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander learns there are both pros and cons to accidentally adopting a kitten with your situationship.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,236
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    577
    Kudos:
    4,576
    Bookmarks:
    1,145
    Hits:
    33,870

    23 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane’s brain cycled rapidly through a half-dozen celebrities, porn actors, Grindr profiles, every attractive bartender who’d ever served him a beer, trying to find a comparison for this level of outrageously concentrated beauty in one person, but he was drawing a blank.

    The man—Ilya Rozanov, Facilities Attendant, his badge read—gestured around the supply closet. “I help you find something?”

    --
    Canon-divergent AU set during the 2017-18 MLH season. Shane Hollander doesn’t have a single Cup to his name when he meets a very hot and very annoying janitor who works at the Metros stadium.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,862
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    741
    Kudos:
    3,459
    Bookmarks:
    1,214
    Hits:
    30,970

    23 Jun 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    He still didn't know if this was normal - asking your friends about how good they were at sucking dick. Maybe this was how friendship worked for other people, if you weren't both hockey players, if one of you wasn't married, if your friendship didn't depend so much on knowing as little about each other as possible. If you knew the other person liked sucking dick.

    Maybe he just likes it when Rose looks at him like that, awestruck, like he's scored a hattrick. He doesn't know anyone else who would be this impressed by his knowledge of having sex with men, which is unfair, seeing how long he's worked to build it.

    Maybe that's why he ends up where he does, one arm extended to stick two fingers in Rose's mouth, her pink lipgloss sticky, smearing around his fingers, three of her fingers pressed as far as they can go into his, both of them drooling and stifling little snorts of laughter.

    Rose asks a lot of questions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,365
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    102
    Kudos:
    1,163
    Bookmarks:
    201
    Hits:
    6,544

    22 Jun 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    There are a great many things that Shane has no plans on telling his husband: that when he was twelve he broke a competitor’s hockey stick because he was mad his team didn’t win. That he sometimes thinks that his Mom would have liked to have another kid if Shane wasn’t much of a handful. That he had to pull over to cry in his car on the way back to his apartment that night in Montreal after seeing Ilya dance with another girl in the club.

    And, that he can no longer sleep in their bed without Ilya.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,145
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    1,330
    Bookmarks:
    179
    Hits:
    8,775

    15 Jun 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya’s been muzzled his whole life.  

    He’s been told to sit, to stay, to stand and smile. When to be quiet, and when to speak. He’s been dressed up and paraded around with a high collar tight around his throat. He’s been kicked in the ribs and patted on the head by the same cruel master. Total obedience expected, and enforced by discipline when adoration failed. He was torn from his mother too early, stunted forever, given over to strangers when his limbs were still gangly and he still whimpered in his sleep. 

    Shane is the first person who’s ever loved him like a human, and not like a beast.  

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,110
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    131
    Kudos:
    2,425
    Bookmarks:
    387
    Hits:
    10,550

    13 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    SWEET. bittersweet also but at its core, oh gosh, so very full of love.

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Nothing happening in that moment, on that bench, almost midway through the 3rd period down fucking 7-1 to the fucking Scouts, was impulse.

    It was just the next logical step in a degradation that's been a long time coming. The slow dissolution of Shane's loyalty to the Montreal Metros.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,658
    Chapters:
    2/5
    Comments:
    192
    Kudos:
    852
    Bookmarks:
    241
    Hits:
    5,986

    13 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Have I ever mentioned that I love the written word and also logistics. A more civilized age podcast you will always be famous for your interest in materially grounded fiction and for making me insufferable on the internet. THE WORLD AND THE THINGS THAT INHABIT IT ARE TANGIBLE. And even if that world is a little made up, then convince me i could hold something from it.
    This fic feels lived in. Like you're getting a little glimpse into Shane's life. The junk drawer scene AUGH.
    God I need to go watch pinholes graham hockey on youtube.

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Sometimes, I wish he was a worse person,” Ilya admits one night, while he and Yuna are doing the dishes. Shane and Ilya had come over for chicken parmesan, and it had been a lovely dinner, right up until David, clearing the plates, mentioned that he had met a guy at the store the other day who was a big fan of Shane’s, had a kid who idolized him.

    David asked if Shane could sign a piece of merchandise for him, maybe record a video. Shane said yes, because he had a rule, about doing things for child fans. Now, Shane was off shooting a video while Ilya did the dishes, and Ilya already knew the way it would require Shane to drag his public face up from the depths of his stomach, the work it would take him to shed it afterwards, the way it would taint this evening.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,546
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    132
    Kudos:
    2,699
    Bookmarks:
    460
    Hits:
    21,752

    13 Jun 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane is a college athlete counting down the seconds until the NHL sinks its teeth in him. He rushes Lambda Chi Alpha on the off chance that (gag) social connections and philanthropy optics might help the league notice him. The most magnetic scum in the frat takes an interest, and something tight in his chest starts to loosen.

    Ilya is a physiology student and Lambda’s resident debauchery planner. He's long chewed through his father’s leash, fashioning his independence out of abandonment. In a hockey star pledge he finds a new and messier purpose: untangling the most tightly wound person he’s ever met.

    You were only supposed to be a distraction.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    116,040
    Chapters:
    19/28
    Comments:
    546
    Kudos:
    427
    Bookmarks:
    209
    Hits:
    17,609

    12 Jun 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Flight 771 shouldn't have been any different than any of the hundreds of other flights that Shane has taken over the course of his career, aside from the fact that it was taking him towards his lifelong dream—towards the Olympics.

    It shouldn't have been any different.

    BEND OVER, STAY DOWN.

    BEND OVER, STAY DOWN.

    BEND OVER, STAY DOWN.

    It is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    148,132
    Chapters:
    10/12
    Comments:
    1,421
    Kudos:
    3,102
    Bookmarks:
    1,498
    Hits:
    75,064

    12 Jun 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    AU where one of Shane’s rookies comes out early on in his career. Organized in chronological order.

    Words:
    198,568
    Works:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    953

    09 Jun 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander, hockey player extraordinaire, hovers in the doorway to his impressively designed but sparsely filled walk-in closet, looking at her with wide eyes like she might shoot him if he’s got the wrong things in there. If she finds any cargo shorts, she might shoot herself.

    or: shane hires a stylist.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,003
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    447
    Kudos:
    6,971
    Bookmarks:
    1,693
    Hits:
    30,956

    04 Jun 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    [a voice message sent May 10th, 1991, received by a Panasonic answering machine]

    David: Hey, Mom. The baby has been ejected.

    Yuna: David, no, that’s—no. Give me that. Hey, Mrs. Holl—

    David: She’s your mom too, you know—

    Yuna: —just letting you know that we have a baby! Seven pounds and seven ounces, ten fingers and ten toes. His name is Shane, and he’s excited to meet you… at some point. When we get out of the hospital. We love you, we hope to see you soon, and—

    David: —and bring peach cobbler when you visit!

    Yuna: … and bring peach cobbler when you visit. Bye.

    [Or, Shane is the best Mother's Day gift that Yuna could ever ask for. Literally. Told through a thirty-five-year-long series of letters, postcards, voice messages, and Yuna feeling so much love for her son(s) she could just burst.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,250
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    187
    Kudos:
    3,699
    Bookmarks:
    666
    Hits:
    29,134

    28 May 2026

  16. Public Bookmark 76

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    Summary

    "I do not," Shane said, which was a lie. "And you should reflect on why you like to make your boyfriend upset so often."

    "My boyfriend likes to be upset," Ilya said. He was leaning fully over into Shane's space now, his elbow on the center console bearing so much of his weight as he swayed, almost accidentally closer. He was giddy, childish, how had he forgotten how good it felt to be with Shane, just to be next to him and talk –

    "Is there a rest stop coming up?" Natalya asked from the backseat, and Ilya didn't flinch, exactly, but it was a near thing. He'd almost forgotten she was there.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,278
    Chapters:
    4/5
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    255
    Bookmarks:
    76
    Hits:
    3,631

    27 May 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    16,214
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1,332

    25 May 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    ”Just a few months,” he heard himself say, haltingly.

    Ilya’s eyes sparkled. ”Yes.”

    ”And you will behave, Rozanov.”

    ”I always behave, Hollander.” He shoved at Ilya’s shoulder at this. Ilya caught his wrist and held on. He was grinning. ”It’s going to be fine. No big deal, yes?”

    No big deal. Right. ”Just to get Hayden to leave me alone,” Shane muttered. Ilya nodded but didn’t make a comment about Hayden this time, which Shane appreciated, actually. And then he said, ”Fine, you’ll win your stupid bet,” and twisted his wrist out of Ilya’s grip. ”Let’s try.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,029
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    453
    Kudos:
    3,836
    Bookmarks:
    1,158
    Hits:
    47,595

    25 May 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander has chemistry with his new American linemate. Montreal fans are thrilled. Ilya Rozanov is not.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,228
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    647
    Kudos:
    20,720
    Bookmarks:
    3,754
    Hits:
    175,754

    24 May 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Post-S1. Shane wants to come without anyone touching him. Ilya wants to help.

    Or: Ilya tries to take on Shane's tendency to deprive himself by using ancient Chinese military strategy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,545
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    327
    Kudos:
    2,392
    Bookmarks:
    395
    Hits:
    14,966

    24 May 2026

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