insidejoke



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    Fine Dining by

    Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)  

    18 Aug 2019

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    "There was something else I was going to ask you," Aziraphale continued, unabashed. "Ah… How to put it?" He tapped his hand on his thigh for a moment, and then apparently found inspiration. "Ah! When you're…" Crowley made the mistake of making eye contact with him, and Aziraphale gave him another outrageous wink. "Dining out… What cutlery do you prefer to use?"

    "I'm sorry?" Crowley said pleasantly, trying his best not to cause anything in the dining room to catch aflame in his frustration.

    Aziraphale gave him a reproachful stare, as if Crowley were being very stupid. "When you're eating, Crowley. Do you favour the… The knife?" Aziraphale actually glanced conspicuously at his own crotch, and Crowley considered leaving the dining room via the nearest window. "Or the spoon?" Another raised eyebrow. "Or even, let's say, a fork?"

    "What the fuck is the fork in this situation?" Crowley hissed through gritted teeth.

    ---

    Aziraphale mentions that he'd like to have sex with Crowley. Crowley is completely taken-aback, and very conflicted, and very interested. Aziraphale is also trying to kill him by using elaborate food metaphors to explain the whole subject, which is not helping in the slightest.

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    28 Apr 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Strange Flesh and All That by

    Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)  

    21 Mar 2014

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    Crowley laughs. He can’t help it. And the wine is very good.
    “What’s funny?” Aziraphale asks.
    “Are you joking?” Crowley tilts his head to look at him over his glasses. “No, nothing at all, this is all perfectly normal. Very dull conversation really.”
    Aziraphale smiles back. “What’s funnier, dear boy? That I’ve considered it or that you haven’t?”

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    28 Mar 2026