imjusttrying
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Shane always knew that figure skating was a brutal sport - brutal for your body, your mind and even your wallet. He always knew that in this sports careers were short-lived and that he lasted a lot longer than most. But at twenty-six, facing the inevitable end of his competitive career while his hockey player boyfriend could still play for another decade, he still finds it hard to accept it.
Now Shane has to figure out who he is without the ice, while Ilya's career keeps soaring even after his move to Ottawa.
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Shane has to navigate a lot of things - retirement, physical therapy, trying to find his identity outside of sport. And him and Ilya living together for the first time makes it both harder and easier at the same time.
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He could think about whether it was the right or wrong thing to do later. Maybe tomorrow, or next week, or next month.
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Sometimes, when they were close like this, alone in the room away from the outside world, a room that was their own little kingdom, Naran often forgot about the ten years separating them.
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He saw them kissing in the garden, under the small persimmon tree that always bloomed beautifully with hundreds of white flowers every spring but never bore any fruit.
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their little moment at the back of the library
Recent bookmarks
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coming home to you (with my own blood in my mouth) by nightrose
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
21 Jun 2026
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Ilya’s heart is breaking. He doesn’t want the first thing he does, the very first thing, after Shane’s choices have been so brutally ripped away from him, to be something Shane is begging him not to do. But Shane is seriously injured, much beyond what they can handle with first aid at home or even if they found a discreet doctor to make a house call. He will need an MRI, a broken bone set, probably surgery. And evidence should be collected too, for the police. That part Ilya will not push him on. But he cannot let Shane risk his life for his pride and the fear of shame that has controlled him for so long. “I am sorry, moy lyubimyy,” Ilya says, “So sorry. But Marleau is calling ambulance, and you are going to the hospital.”
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Shane and Ilya are spending Christmas together in Boston during Ilya's last season playing for the Bears. They're finally out, and they're in love, and soon they'll only live two hours apart.
When Shane is assaulted, the plans they had built for their future collapse. Now the road ahead is a long, grueling process of physical and psychological recovery. What they had before-the sex, the playful power exchange, the easy trust-is gone, and they have to build something new, together.
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- English
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Bookmarked by imjusttrying
23 May 2026
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Ilya Rozanov gets traded from Boston to Ottawa out of the blue and not a soul knows why. On his first visit to the Centaurs arena, he meets the team equipment manager, Shane — a quiet and illusive man that captures Ilya’s interest immediately.
Shane Hollander has loved hockey since before he could walk. Unfortunately, the one thing he cared more about was living life as his authentic self. He gave up what would have been a promising career in the PWHL—the only chance in this lifetime at professional hockey—to transition. Once the initial sting had worn off, Shane took up equipment managing to keep as close to the game as he could, silently hoping that someday the NHL would be a safe space for people like him. What happens when Ilya Rozanov joins the centaurs and appears dead set on working his way into Shane’s life (and heart)?
OR - Role Model AU!
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- English
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- 69,087
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- 10/12
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Bookmarked by imjusttrying
21 Apr 2026
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You, soft and only by brightloveee
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
06 Mar 2026
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When he was a boy, Ilya used to play with his mother’s Matryoshka doll. He’d unstack the wooden layers. The biggest, then the next, then the next. Always finding something new, until he got to the smallest, most delicate one at the center.
Ilya has always known Shane isn’t like anyone else. After their summer at the cottage together, Ilya learns that being with Shane is like unstacking nesting dolls. Every layer is a new treasure to discover, and the man at the center has re-shaped his entire world.
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- English
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- 25,669
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- 5/6
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Bookmarked by imjusttrying
22 Mar 2026
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Shane cups her cheek in his hand, running his thumb over the plush of her bottom lip. She looks at him through her fawnish lashes. He roves his eyes over her body. Her shoulders and biceps, her abs… She's so strong, so…
Incredible.
"I've never done that before," he admits, "Not with... with a woman, at least."
"Right, well," she rolls her eyes, "Would probably be better with a real man, yes?"
He shakes his head, "No. It wouldn't have been the same at all."
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or, Shane comes to terms with his sexuality only to get thrown right back into confusion by Rozanov.
- Language:
- English
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- 29,501
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- 6/6
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- 1,370
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Bookmarked by imjusttrying
03 Feb 2026
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The Fertility Face-Off by percyisasmartass
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
19 Jun 2026
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"Do you want children?"
It should have been a simple question, a yes or no answer, and Shane knew that Ilya wanted children, because he did, too. they talked about it before they got married and briefly after they got married. But as their heat and rut approaches, something they have never shared before, Shane wonders if it might be time to talk about the next part of their relationship. But when Shane gets an answer he's not expecting, he starts going down a rabbit hole to confirm that this is actually what he wants.
Occurs after the Long Game. Canon divergence and is set in Omegaverse. Mix of TV and book elements.
Will be updated every 4-6 days. Last update: June 19th
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 580,227
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- 53/70
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Bookmarked by imjusttrying
28 Jan 2026