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Sebastian Sallow’s Guide on How Not to Fall in Love (and Fail Miserably) by Purplesnot
Fandoms: Hogwarts Legacy (Video Game), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
26 Jan 2026
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A continuation of my series on Sebastian Sallow and a Female Protagonist from Hogwarts Legacy, Evelyn Kingston.
When Sebastian Sallow offers to help the new fifth-year get into a bit of trouble, he anticipated breaking into the Library, not making out in the corridor to avoid detention. Now, Sebastian has found himself with more friends than he wants, a troll-hunting maniac who won't leave him alone, and a possible chance to save his sister, Ann, once and for all.
An AU of the game where Sebastian falls hard and fast from the moment he gets his ass handed to him in that duel. Read Part 1 & 2 of the series for the Library make-out.
Featuring: Sebastian angst, domestic fluff at Hogwarts, teenagers getting into trouble and dueling as a questionable form of foreplay.
Alternative Title: Sebastian Just Needs a Hug
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Hermione,
Sentimentality has never been my strong suit, but consider this an act of Firewhisky-fuelled bravery.
When I sat down to write this, I had no idea what would end up on this page. I’ve spent this evening thinking back on our history and I’m feeling rather wistful.
the butterfly effect : noun - (in chaos theory) the phenomenon whereby a minute localised change in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere.
DHr Advent 2022
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,997
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 77
- Kudos:
- 1,421
- Bookmarks:
- 211
- Hits:
- 13,661
Bookmarked by httpsmoony
24 Dec 2024
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cute story of friends to lovers to marriage! wholesome/short/sweet
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After six months in Azkaban, six months living without magic, and six months probation, Draco Malfoy reveled in the quiet. For five years working in a small bookshop in the Scottish isles gave him purpose and the silence he craved. Until the bell above the door chimed, and Hermione Granger started to make noise.
And maybe he liked the sounds she made.
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Steve Harrington is really weird about the adult film section of Family Video, which really should change its name. After a lot of teasing about dirty movies and the people who rent them, you both take your fixation on pornography a little too far.
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When Katara falls ill during one of her visits to the Fire Nation as Ambassador, she is given medicine for her fever.
Unfortunately, it results in vivid, explicit dreams of desires she normally represses.
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"The right kind of love, the kind that’s real, the kind that sacrifices…that kind of love doesn’t blind you. It forces your eyes wide open."
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"On a scale of one to ten, how comfortable would you say you are with me physically?" she asked.
"Zero."
Hermione's lips pursed in annoyance because she really should have seen that coming. How charming that the extent of his arseholery could still surprise her.In which Hermione is determined to find a loophole to free her from a forced marriage with Draco Malfoy. But with only two weeks until they are legally required to consummate, it would be irresponsible not to prepare for every contingency.
Series
- Part 1 of Ten out of Ten and Counting
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 61,559
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 51
- Comments:
- 2,390
- Kudos:
- 24,821
- Bookmarks:
- 8,842
- Hits:
- 882,574
Bookmarked by httpsmoony
15 Dec 2024
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cutesy
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The latest in magical advancements is an enchantment that reveals the bearer’s romantic compatibility with another person. Effectively eliminating uncertainty from dating, the charm can tell you whether or not you’ve found The One with a precise, Hermione Granger-approved calculation of traits and preferences. It’s a foolproof method of predicting relationship happiness. It’s also, for Hermione, positively dreadful news. Dramione, post-war, soulmate AU. COMPLETE.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 98,052
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 24
- Comments:
- 1,511
- Kudos:
- 9,428
- Bookmarks:
- 4,437
- Hits:
- 455,662
Bookmarked by httpsmoony
15 Dec 2024
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very witty
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Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Apr 2022
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Hermione straddles the Muggle and Magical worlds as a medical researcher and Healer about to make a big discovery. Draco is an Auror assigned to protect her from forces unknown – to both of their displeasure.
Features hyper-competent, fiery Hermione and lazy, yet dangerous, Draco. Slow burn.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 199,548
- Chapters:
- 36/36
- Collections:
- 206
- Comments:
- 13,486
- Kudos:
- 102,412
- Bookmarks:
- 31,382
- Hits:
- 5,549,038
Bookmarked by httpsmoony
15 Dec 2024
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gorg
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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,517
- Kudos:
- 31,792
- Bookmarks:
- 12,595
- Hits:
- 1,939,744
Bookmarked by httpsmoony
25 Nov 2024
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literally amazing
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Returning home after your college graduation, you expect the same sleepy rhythm—quiet nights with your dad, maybe a summer job at his firm, and that ever-present question: what now? But the heat stretches long and slow, and you find yourself babysitting your neighbor’s daughter just to pass the time.
Joel Miller—your dad’s best friend, all calloused hands and quiet glances—is supposed to be off-limits. He’s older, steady, and familiar. But something between you has shifted. There’s tension, thick as the summer air, now impossible to ignore.
And as the days blur and the lines between you begin to fray, it becomes harder to remember where the rules used to be—or why they mattered.
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Inappropriate laundry room activities, etcetera.
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Maybe We Can Make Some Time by logogram
Fandoms: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
11 Nov 2024
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Colin Bridgerton is nearly three and twenty and— according to his brothers— entirely too old to be a virgin. When they suggest bringing him to a brothel to gain some experience, he agrees; after all, he could certainly enter the establishment without engaging its services, and perhaps make Anthony and Benedict finally see sense. He couldn't have anticipated that Penelope Featherington would plop herself down in his lap, nor that he would start needing her so much.
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across the hall by fabesrutter
Fandoms: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
13 Feb 2024
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“After years of traveling all over the world, seeing incredible things and meeting fascinating people, Colin Bridgerton took everyone by surprise when he said he was coming home and wanted to pursue teaching.
He reached out to Penelope first, asking for advice and a bit of help with the certification process. Penelope was glad to help him; her heart was warmed by Colin’s newfound passion for education, and slowly but surely, Colin was ready to apply for teaching positions. It wasn’t until he had secured a spot at Penelope’s school that she began to grow nervous.”
Childhood friends Colin and Penelope teach in classrooms across the hall from one another. Penelope, in her fourth year of teaching English, shows first-year-teacher Colin the ropes of their now shared profession. As they spend more time together throughout the term, the pair come to see one another in a new light, and the lines between friendship and something more begin to blur.
Rating subject to change based on later chapters. -
An Agreement by Royal_Darjeeling
Fandoms: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
22 Apr 2024
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Every Monday (and on special occasions) Penelope took her husband to bed.
It was an agreement, after a year of marriage, that they would finally explore each other for the sake of having a child. It did not mean anything, not at all.
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Bookmarked by httpsmoony
07 Jul 2023
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There are many benefits to renting an apartment with your best friend; you can split the cost of bills and keep the spare cash, thus fattening your savings in the bank. The only downside however, is bringing your Texas born and raised boyfriend back to your place and trying to stay quiet when things become a little intimate between you and the man.
Keeping quiet proves to be a difficult task, especially since he can’t keep his hands off you, and when you become a little too vocal in the bedroom, well… he has to hush you.
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There’s next to nothing truly known about the Upside-Down, but after you get stuck there with Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington, you learn one thing: don’t touch the flowers.
Warning: SPOILERS for season 4 volume 1
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You and your best friend, Steve, have a movie night planned, but things don't go the way they're supposed to when Billy shows up.