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    Lan Wangji is staring at him with shockingly alert eyes.

     

    “Ah. Burger Man,” he says stoically. Wei Wuxian has a really hard time telling if the man is serious or fucking with him. But given that he has never seen the man being anything other than serious, he assumes that he’s probably drunk.

     

    “Yeah, I’m the Burger Man. And you’re Lan Wangji. Do you normally spend your Friday nights sitting on the street like this?” he asks.

     

    Lan Wangji looks around, as if he had not been aware they were on a street in the middle of the city. Had he blacked out? How much had he drunk? Was he on any drugs? There was no real way for Wei Wuxian to know.

     

    “Do not,” Lan Wangji finally responds, frowning at the pavement like it’s its fault that he’s sitting on it.

     

    Or, Wei Wuxian is slightly obsessed with the Hot Customer at work. After running into him on a night out, and consequently figuring out he has a kid, he somehow talks himself into getting to babysit said kid. So what if he starts crushing on this man who is obviously taken? Wei Wuxian has everything under control.

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    05 Jul 2026