failed_existance



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    A second, then a blur. Ilya knocking over one of the kitchen island stools to engulf Shane. His shaking frame holding Shane so tight, Shane felt himself shaking back. He could only hold on back, just as tightly.
    “Please.” Came the strangled voice by his left ear. “Please, tell me.”
    And who was Shane to ever deny a wish of Ilya Rozanov.
    “I’m signing to Ottawa. Tomorrow. If you would want to come with.”
    And then Ilya was shoving him back, holding him close to his face. “Of course. I drive. Of course I come.”
    Or
    Shane, fed up with Montreal, signs to Ottawa before their relationship is revealed. While he doesn't plan on keeping that a secret for long, he asks Ilya to let him get to know the team first, before they come out. To maybe have a normal season. Meanwhile, the rest of the Centaurs are going crazy trying to figure out what is going on between their captain and Shane Hollander and why they keep showing up in the same car??

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    7/7
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    14 Jun 2026

  2. Rec *

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    Ilya Rozanov is in love, closeted, catastrophically lonely, and apparently incapable of referring to Shane Hollander in present tense.

    The Centaurs come to a- given the circumstances- reasonable conclusion.

    Or:
    Five times the Centaurs thought Ilya Rozanov was mourning his dead wife, and the one time they discovered his wife was actually Shane Hollander.
    Shane, for the record, is alive and really confused.

    Language:
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    31,298
    Chapters:
    6/6
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    13 Jun 2026

  3. Rec *

    Words:
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    129

    07 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Once, years before they got their shit together, Ilya had spent a very boring physical therapy session thinking about what it would be like to fuck Shane in front of an audience. To have that beautiful, infuriating boy in front of everyone, to have everyone able to see him fall apart.

    It had seemed hot then.

    Now, having seen Shane actually fall apart—seeing him tear down the shroud he’d kept up, the perfect smile, the bravery—the very concept makes Ilya feel sick to his stomach. Everything inside him is razor blades and churning vodka and Svetlana’s awful skincare concoctions. He didn’t know.

    After Shane blows up at Troy, everyone has some thinking to do. Nobody has a great time.

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    04 Jun 2026

  5. Rec *

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    Based on a tumblr post from @notahungrywish, ending with:

    Just Shane casually assuming he'll always have to share and never be enough for Ilya and Ilya horrified to realize just how resigned Shane is to assuming Ilya will never be satisfied with him the way Shane is with Ilya.

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    English
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    3/3
    Comments:
    515
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    8,089
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    2,169
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    101,839

    03 Jun 2026