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   caveat emptor by silentwalrus

   Fandom Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types

   • General Audiences, Mature, Teen And Up Audiences, Explicit
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Gen, M/M, F/M
   • Series in Progress

   14 Apr 2023

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
   • Edward Elric/Winry Rockbell
   • Mei Chan | May Chang/Alphonse Elric
   • Edward Elric/Original Male Character
   • Edward Elric/Original Female Character(s)
   • Edward Elric
   • Roy Mustang
   • Riza Hawkeye
   • Alphonse Elric
   • Winry Rockbell
   • Jean Havoc
   • Corn Chowder the Amazing Accomplice Dog
   • Doctors - Character
   • Nurses - Character
   • Lieutenant Khozhaq who probably deserves better than this
   • and his wayward undergrads
   • buncha goths and gymnasts
   • A whole pig
   • Mei Chan | May Chang
   • Maes Hughes
   • Heymans Breda
   • The Communications Director
   • A Lawyer Named Claire
   • Brinley
   • Landy
   • Branson The Construction Supervisor (He Doesn’t Deserve This)
   • Elicia Hughes
   • Gracia Hughes
   • Hakuro (Fullmetal Alchemist)
   • jeon - Character
   • Bhagwati Kakadia
   • Chris "Madam Christmas" Mustang
   • Izumi Curtis
   • Sig Curtis
   • Mason (Fullmetal Alchemist)
   • Chowder the Amazing Accomplice Dog - Character
   • Black Hayate (Fullmetal Alchemist)
   • don’t mind me i’m just building my own scaffolding here
   • highly unresearched pejoratives regarding amestrisan academia
   • ed elric: college boy
   • pre-slash if you're into that
   • post-canon if you're into THAT
   • nonstandard skill acquisition
   • nonstandard bc nobody loses a leg so ed can learn a thing
   • Snakes
   • Well just one
   • pre-slash if you’re into that
   • Petsitting: xXxtreme Edition
   • post-canon if you’re into THAT
   • slice of life only the life is roy mustang’s
   • so it’s wall to wall politics machination murder
   • it’s a bad week to try and assassinate roy mustang
   • his life is very stupid in a lot of very dangerous ways
   • spontaneous alchemical landscaping
   • narrowly avoided wet t-shirt contests
   • a mild case of the ol’ repression
   • redneck pool
   • Edward Elric: Real Fake Blond
   • Roy Mustang: Denser Than Bricks
   • Ed: relax ive got a plan
   • Roy: YOU DO NOT GOT A PLAN
   • Fake/Pretend Relationship
   • Roy Mustang: Least Comforting Human On Earth
   • Drug Use
   • Ed getting his ass kicked by an unsuspecting bicyclist
   • and a fancy lamppost
   • roy mustang getting his ass kicked by the fact that other people have feelings
   • Pre-Slash
   • undergrad shit
   • Roy’s thousand dollar dressing gown
   • animal kindness with remarkable resemblance to cruelty
   • inspiration strikes (like a tractor trailer)
   • and it’s about to put roy into traction
   • Politics
   • a buncha OCs - Freeform
   • Men! Getting! Pegged!
   • Party politics
   • Casual Sex
   • Trans Male Character
   • more undergrad shit
   • Post-Canon
   • ed @adrenaline: lol fucked around and got addicteeeeeeddddd
   • Police
   • Ed vs Law Enforcement: Nobody Wins
   • Police Misconduct
   • Slice of Life
   • ed: could an unsatisfied person do THIS?
   • Ed Elric College Boy
   • fuck around find out: an intro to studying poetry
   • heart herpes
   • Oral Sex
   • Hookin’ Up
   • Fake Dating
   • Nothing Can Possibly Go Wrong
   • Unrequited Feelings.... ish
   • Ed/Eating Platonic Pussy Like A Champ
   • Ed/The Worst Taste In Men On The Planet
   • Roy Mustang/Stupidity
   • Unrequited Crush
   • Plotting & Scheming
   • A Nice Normal Dinner Between Rational Mature Adults Where No One Has Any Feelings Whatsoever
   • real feels
   • Uh Oh Besties!
   • Food Fun & Politics
   • M-M-M-Makeover!
   • Alchemy Nerds
   • Chowder the Amazing Accomplice Dog
   • Tennis.
   • Tomato Soup/Chocolate Cake
   • Introspection
   • Or rather lack thereof
   • you’re doing great roy
   • Hair Braiding
   • fancy party
   • Love Confessions
   • Grief/Mourning
   • that's unrelated to the love confessions btw thats a whole separate problem entirely!
   • Misunderstandings
   • Roy Mustang: yeah i lowkey hate myself lmao
   • no no it doesn't affect my daily life or relationships at all why do you ask?
   • Roy Has A Little Think
   • A coupla war criminals drinking margaritas and having girl talk
   • Family
   • Earthquakes
   • Industrial Engineering
   • Natural Disasters
   • Relationship Discussions
   • Potato Soup
   • Ed’s turn to get his ass kicked by the fact that other people have feelings
   • discussions of attempted suicide
   • PIV Sex
   • Assault With Deadly Weapon (Rolled Up Towel)
   • BDSM
   • Treatise On Alchemical Pigment Manipulation
   • Color Theory
   • novelty t-shirts
   • Whipping
   • Vacation
   • Dramatic Architecture
   • new car smell
   • Developing Relationship
   • Home Renovation
   • Adults with Jobs
   • that’s like the opposite of pwp

   Summary

   Slice of life, only the lives are Ed Elric's and Roy Mustang's. Politics. Violence. Stupidity. A lot of animals. True love(?). And of course like 4 separate instances of fake dating

   Words:

   220,954

   Works:

   23

   Bookmarks:

   1,010

   Bookmarked by espresso_urself

   05 May 2021