emilcha



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    Later, he’ll blame it all on a momentary lapse of judgement.

    He’ll blame it on the loneliness maybe—on the fact that, despite never having been physically closer to Shane this consistently in his entire life—that despite regularly getting dinner with Shane’s parents—that despite finally having found what he’d spend his entire life searching for he’s also, somehow, never felt more alone.

    He’ll blame it on Cliff not texting him back since he’d signed with Ottawa. He’ll blame it on Sveta, face pulled into a perpetual frown during every facetime call.

    Or maybe he’ll blame it on Anya—sweet, beautiful Anya—who’d been just a little too cute not to share.

    or: Ilya accidentally rehabilitates his image one puppy tiktok at a time

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    18 Mar 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    13

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander, captain of the Boston Raiders, is the the undisputed best hockey player of his generation. But he’s lonely. His relationships with women have never worked out, and he’s afraid he knows why.

    Ilya Rozanov is a charismatic, openly bisexual personal trainer and influencer. His content is half thirst traps, half brutal and perceptive hockey critique.

    It’s no surprise, really, that Shane falls for him so hard and so fast.

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    01 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    43

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    This is a love letter to the all the millenials like me who played it too careful and forgot to enjoy our youth. Shane and Ilya, enjoy it for me, do good. Fuck it good, fuck it right. Life is too short to live it scared.

    The arena is too loud.
    That’s the first thing Shane notices; not the ice, not the lights, not the jersey on his shoulders that suddenly feels wrong in a way he can’t articulate. The sound hits him like pressure, like something physical, a wall of noise that vibrates in his chest.
    He’s already bent over for the faceoff when it hits him- skates set, stick down, weight forward. His body is exactly where it’s supposed to be even if his brain is still skidding uselessly, trying to catch traction.
    There’s only a split second before the puck drops.
    It stretches.
    He lifts his eyes.
    Ilya.
    Young. So fucking young. Is he dreaming? Not worn by years of hockey, travel, interviews and losses and victories that stack so high they blur together. He’s young again; sharp boned, bright eyed, unable to grow a beard to save his life. Bears black and gold instead of Centaurs red. 'If I look down am I going to be pantsless too?' He thought absently, no way this was real... right?

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    02 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Ch 19

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    Before Felix could remove his headphones, he heard it. Heavy, borderline panicked breaths. Felix realized that it must be Hollander. His mic was not turned off when he left the interview. Footsteps. And then a door opening and closing. They had filmed the interview that morning at the offices of the Irina Foundation. It sounded like maybe he had gone into his office.

    “Hey, what is it? What is wrong?” Another voice. Unmistakable anywhere. Even if Felix hadn’t spent weeks now listening to it, he would still have recognized Ilya Rozanov’s voice.

    What if the filmmaker making the documentary about Hollander and Rozanov discovered the truth about their relationship. So he approaches Shane and Ilya about filming them over the course of the 2020/2021 season to create an honest documentary that tells the true story of their lives. Canon-divergent AU set during The Long Game.

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    01 Jul 2026

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    The truth was, yeah, Shane married Ilya, but he’d married hockey first. He married hockey the second he signed his rookie contract with the Metros, and his courtship began long, long before. And his marriage to hockey wasn’t like his marriage to Ilya. Hockey wouldn’t ever love him back. Ilya wasn’t going to chew Shane up and spit him out at some nebulous point after he turned thirty and before he turned forty, his joints busted and his mouth full of dentures and his brain fucked to hell and back. And that marriage—his first marriage—had always come before his second, illicit shotgun wedding.

    It wasn’t ideal, maybe, but that was just how things were. Hell, it was probably the same for Ilya, too. The fuck was Shane supposed to do about it? Nothing, nothing, nothing. He liked his life just the way it was. He didn’t want to do anything different. He still doesn’t. And that’s the worst, most shameful part of it all: at the end of the day, some part of Shane will always wish he could wind back time like adjusting a watch; erase that Instagram post before it ever hit the internet and go back to the life they’d had before; the life that was slowly killing them both.

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    27 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    3