cumberbatcha



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    This thing that they have—whatever the hell it is—it’s good. It’s easy. It feels like the only thing keeping Ilya afloat sometimes.

    He can’t let it get to a place where it’s more than just a good, convenient fuck and some fun teasing in between. Even if sometimes, in brief moments of tenderness, it already feels like it’s more than that. Or at least like it’s something that can be, if they just let it.

    But they don’t. They can’t.

    Although sometimes, Ilya does find himself giving in to the urge to look at Shane just a little bit longer, to let his touch be just a little bit gentler, more reverent, than what it would be for something as casual as they claim this to be—albeit sparingly.

    Sometimes, just for a moment, he lets himself indulge. He lets some of that affection bleed out of him because he feels like he’ll implode if he doesn’t.

    But he always catches himself before it can linger.

    ***

    or

    where six months of ghosting is shane’s final straw and he cuts contact with ilya after vegas, tired of the wall that just keeps getting higher each time he tries to chip away at it

    so ilya is forced to reckon with his feelings much sooner

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,487
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    388
    Kudos:
    1,889
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    710
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    27 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    After leaving behind his last job, Ilya threw himself into a new profession: making and selling all things one can pickle. His week revolved around the Sunday farmer's market. Everything seemed simple and predictable until a new vendor arrived late in the season.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,273
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    374
    Kudos:
    2,657
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    716
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    26 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Ilya, you don’t actually want to watch these, I promise. They’re just boring old kiddy games.”

    Ilya blinks. “Shane. Are you trying to tell me that I will not like something because it is ‘boring’? I think we have plenty of evidence that this is simply not true, no?”

    Shane fixes him with his most withering glare. “Well, if I’m calling something boring, imagine how boring it actually is.”

    “I know you are trying to trick me, Hollander,” Ilya states, raising a single brow. “But you will not deny me my right as your husband to see baby Shane in his tiny little skates.”

    Or: Shane and Ilya watch some of Shane’s old home movies. It leads to a few revelations.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,830
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    98
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    1,129
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    242
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    8,708

    25 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 48

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    "“I found a little spot while I was waiting around yesterday. It's where I set up my camp. It's a little ways off from the main area. More trees. More privacy.”

    “I will follow you anywhere so long as you suck my dick when we get there,” Ilya answers honestly.

    Normally he'd be embarrassed to be so open with a near-stranger. He's a forthcoming guy but he often likes to play coy, the chase being a thrilling part of foreplay.

    But something about being on the trail like this, the easy and casual nature between them, it just feels pointless to play games.

    They're both just two men who find each other hot and are on similar adventures with nothing to lose."

     

    Or, Shane decides he's tired of not feeling in control of his own life, and after college graduation he makes the bold decision to hike as much as he can of the Pacific Crest Trail in 3 months on his own. Ilya Rozanov also just graduated college and feels aimless, so he and his friend Cliff decide to hike the entire PCT together. Shane and Ilya meet on the trail. No slow burn here!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,349
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    144
    Bookmarks:
    48
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    1,462

    25 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): i keep thinking this is some sort of insane dream
    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): but no. we got SHANE HOLLANDER.
    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): because of HOMOPHOBIA!
    Sherlock Holmes (Carter Holmberg): rare homophobia win
    Shane Hollander: Well let’s not go that far.
    El Capitan (Ilya Rozanov): holmberg please refrain from being pro homophobia in the group chat or shane will report you to management

    --

    Or: Shane's first season on the Ottawa Centaurs, as told through a number of increasingly unhinged texts

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    81,580
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    2,991
    Kudos:
    11,748
    Bookmarks:
    1,969
    Hits:
    268,508

    15 Jun 2026