beacedocrimes



Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Emmy: When did you first hook up with him?
    Jane: 2010
    Caro: WHAT
    Megan: GIRL
    Tia: SEVEN YEARS??
    Megan: My jaw is borderline unhinged rn

    Or: In 2017, Shane finds a place where he can talk about his sex life...a group chat for girls who have slept with Ilya Rozanov

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,282
    Chapters:
    7/12
    Comments:
    6,363
    Kudos:
    28,782
    Bookmarks:
    5,869
    Hits:
    371,780

    08 Apr 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    June 2018. Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are about to execute the first step of their ten-year plan, with Ilya signing with the Ottawa Centaurs when free agency begins on July 1.

    Except Shane accidentally, drunkenly, outs himself to the Montreal Metros at the end of the season. Who are not as okay with it as Shane would have hoped.

    AKA the most eventful Canada Day that the MLH has ever seen.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,827
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    1,264
    Kudos:
    13,100
    Bookmarks:
    4,014
    Hits:
    133,332

    05 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,572
    Kudos:
    51,460
    Bookmarks:
    10,622
    Hits:
    340,487

    28 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Need a bet to get laid, Rozanov? You’re really that desperate these days?”

    “Nostalgic, maybe.”

    “Wow. Big word.”

    “Shut up, Hollander.”

    Shane shuts up.

    “When I win,” Rozanov continues. “I get you for…twenty-four hours.”

    or

    Shane and Ilya are in rival frats in their senior year and it's time for the annual Greek Olympiad. A bet is made.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    133,527
    Chapters:
    11/13
    Comments:
    2,323
    Kudos:
    9,611
    Bookmarks:
    4,158
    Hits:
    382,329

    20 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky.

    Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,008
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3,438
    Kudos:
    53,381
    Bookmarks:
    16,146
    Hits:
    863,385

    30 Jan 2026