asthejayflies
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Martin's Marvelous Misery Marathon by AsTheJayFucks (asthejayflies) for QualifiedMartin, ghostofnoodlewrap
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
18 Oct 2022
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Summary
Two weeks after moving into the Archives, Martin is feeling really pent up on a Saturday night and decides to risk a wank‚ thinking that Jon had either (hopefully) already gone home‚ or that he would stay holed up in his office long enough for him to bust out a quick one. It's been a month since his last orgasm‚ surely it won't take that long.
He's wrong on all three counts.
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Or‚ in which i subject Martin to the most excruciatingly mortifying shit i can think of‚ but it's okay actually bc at least he gets a boyfriend out of it by the end :)
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Baby's First Fic by asthejayflies
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
31 Mar 2020
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I was bullied into posting this by the ace omens server after writing it as a joke
Recent bookmarks
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“But you said you didn’t have a word for – for forcing someone into reproduction?”
“No. Is different, but equivalent violation. Means, to force to sleep.”
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Or, Dr. Ryland Grace has yet to confront the choices taken from him. Eridian norms, ironically enough, force the issue.
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i'd take care of you, if you'd ask me to by belbelbel
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
28 Jun 2026
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“Would it help––should I bring my dinner in too?” Grace jokes, smiling in preparation for the absolute symphony of disgusted whistles he knows Rocky will produce at the thought of them doing something as depraved as sharing a meal. “I’ve been saving this week’s half packet of ramen for just such an occasion––”
[YES YES YES!] Rocky’s translator app suddenly blares from the laptop on the floor between them. [YES, ACCEPT ACCEPT ACCEPT! GRACE RAMEN ♪♫♪♫ WITH ROCKY, AFFIRMATIVE! GRACE ROCKY EAT ♪♫♪♫ MEAL TOGETHER AFFIRMATIVE YES YES AFFIRMATIVE NOW.]
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or, a fic to answer the questions: What if you fell in love for the first time in your 40s, and it just so happened to be with your alien best bud who has five legs, no face, and is already married? And then what if you accidentally proposed marriage to said alien best bud without knowing, because while you may be Earth's best and brightest, you are also notoriously inexperienced and kinda stupid at close interpersonal relationships? What then?
Bookmarked by AsTheJayFucks (asthejayflies)
03 Jul 2026
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"Um, Prom is tomorrow....who ya askin'?" by authenticcadence18
Fandoms: Phineas and Ferb
02 Jul 2026
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In which current-day Phineas tries his darndest to remember what freaked him out so much about flashing forward to high school when all he did was talk to Isabella about Prom for .2 seconds. It made sense in the moment but now he's just confused. And a little queasy. Why's his heart beating so fast?
We also spend some time with future-Phineas the day before Prom and...well...he's trying his best, okay?
(Set after the events of the "Phineas and Ferb: Locker Diaries" episode "Flash Forward." Or, is it before? Or during? Who knows, time travel makes my head hurt.)
Bookmarked by asthejayflies
02 Jul 2026
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joooooooork mimimimi by Anonymous
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026)
16 Apr 2026
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Being forced onto a spaceship against your will and flung light years away from your home planet in order to save your species from an extinction-level event is a pretty stressful ordeal. Now that the Beetle probes are on their way back to Earth, and the Hail Mary is on a two month journey back to save Rocky from his taumoeba infestation, Ryland is left with a lot of empty time to process the stress and remember how to relax. Most effectively by masturbating. However, his new found self-care routine is abruptly halted after intercepting with the Blip-A as Ryland relearns exactly what it was like to live with no privacy or personal space.
His body hasn't gotten the memo that Ryland absolutely cannot be jerking off in the same spaceship with an alien who can 'see' through walls and watches him sleep every night.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,890
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 34
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- 1,329
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- 103
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- 8,350
Bookmarked by AsTheJayFucks (asthejayflies)
01 Jul 2026
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cut me open, take me apart by Anonymous
Fandoms: Andy Weir's Project Hail Mary - All Media Types
24 May 2026
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I'd thought before that I'd trust Rocky with anything, even open heart surgery, and I really, truly did. Given a few hours to read up on a topic Rocky could blow any equivalent human out of the water, and his adaptability, intelligence and dexterity gave me absolute confidence in his ability to do anything he set his mind to. The real difficulty would be on my end: my confusing squishy organs and the time limit we were on, my incompatibility with his atmosphere, and, most concerningly, the fact that the only anesthesia the Hail Mary had was local.
Grace has appendicitis. Rocky has to cut it out.
Series
- Part 2 of grocky fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,116
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 21
- Kudos:
- 358
- Bookmarks:
- 39
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- 2,083
Bookmarked by asthejayflies
01 Jul 2026