Ultimatepity
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“What in the freshest grocery aisle of hell is THAT?!”
Harlequin merely shrugged, legs spread and pants down, sitting on your clean duvet with his usual wide grin.
“My dicks.”
Bookmarked by Ultimatepity
25 Apr 2026
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A dedicated Harlequin x reader fic inspired by the lack of Harlequin focused fics. Trying to follow the general canon but shaking it up more and more as the story goes on.
Pierrot will be involved but honestly unsure on how much and how long.
(Shout out to fellow Harlequin mains out there)Bookmarked by Ultimatepity
25 Apr 2026
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The first thing Astarion did following the fall of the Absolute was redecorate Cazador’s palace. You helped him kill the cruel vampire lord, only for him to take his place. He believed himself to be free, to be untouchable, but there were those who hungered for his power. The coven of vampires that Cazador led caught wind of his death and extended an invitation soon after. Astarion initially dismissed the invitation but realized that hiding in the palace would make him appear weak. He could not afford to look weak, so he went with you at his side. You refused to be his spawn, but you still went wherever he went. You were his most precious possession and his only weakness.
(Astarion is invited to join Cazador's coven of vampires and meets four jealous, power-hungry vampire lords. You come with him and he worries about you being taken from him.)
Warning: Baldur's Gate Act 3 and Post Game Spoilers
Bookmarked by Ultimatepity
13 Apr 2026