TurquoiseCake
Fandoms
- Homestuck (10)
Recent works
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y'all ever nut so hard you astral project out of the universe? by TurquoiseCake
Fandoms: Homestuck
16 Jul 2020
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Summary
Jade invents a serum that can exponentially lengthen one's orgasm, which is awesome, but it has some unexpected side effects when her boyfriends try it.
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Summary
Dave and Jade work together to banish a harmful space anomaly that’s been consuming humanities positive energy, and they do so by using the most powerful spellcasting technique known to man— sex.
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Summary
This one has no sex, but rather is a short doodle about how you met Davesprite. Just a bit of conversation and like, one (1) kiss. Enjoy.
(Subject to change)
Series
- Part 1 of The “Let’s Fuck Davesprite” Series
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Summary
You run an expirement to see how many times Davesprite can orgasm in one lay, whilst he’s tied down on a table. Consensual.
Series
- Part 5 of The “Let’s Fuck Davesprite” Series
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Summary
They’re at the end of high school and it’s early summer, so
Dave and Karkat meet Jade at her house at night when her dad doesn’t know.
They drink whiskey that they’re not supposed to have, watch a shitty movie off an illegal website, and make out. It’s sweet, cute, happy.
Recent series
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Summary
Each can be a stand-alone fic
- Words:
- 16,872
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 5
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Princess Zelda didn’t sleep. Link had tried everything he could think of to get her to rest. Sleep-inducing teas or elixirs, extra soft beds, extra firm beds, sleeping outside under the night sky, in a crowded inn, alone in his cottage, out by the sea with the calming sound of waves. But it appeared that the type of insomnia the princess suffered from was divinely stubborn. Rain or shine, cloudy or clear, she would always get up to sit cross-legged outside, leaning back on her arms, staring up at the sky until sunrise.
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Summary
Never before has Link seen a stable with more than two patrons per night, but of course, on the evening that he and Princess Zelda slay Calamity Ganon and free all of Hyrule, Riverside Stable is suddenly the hippest joint in the entire kingdom.
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Summary
He felt like the naked girl who'd just been a white wolf and the half-naked guy who'd just been a mangled corpse dragged into his barn by a wolf completely deserved his screaming.
The ~magical~ turd-licking fence-fuckers masquerading as his classmates had been sneak-flirting with him for weeks.
"Is my life actually a shitty supernatural romance?! Am I going to develop more special than you powers that somehow never matter half as much as who I fuck? Am I supposed to arbitrate your little game of which one of you is the sexiest alpha male by gracing them with my boy cooch?"
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now with sequel pesterlog silliness. -
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Summary
Life is hard enough when you don't know where you stand with your ex, until Dirk discovers something on Hellmurder Island that wants to make his life even harder (pun intended).
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,735
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 88
- Kudos:
- 1,194
- Bookmarks:
- 141
- Hits:
- 21,072
Bookmarked by TurquoiseCake
06 Sep 2017
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Summary
Miss Jade Harley is carrying on after the death of her grandfather. She finds that a young woman living on her own gathers quite a bit of unwanted attention.
Bookmarked by TurquoiseCake
24 Feb 2017