TheCarpetSnake
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Recent works
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“I genuinely want to kiss you right now!”
“Oh do you? Go on then.” Those blue eyes stare up innocently and the little muddy face pouts melodramatically in faux anticipation. For a brief moment he almost gives in to it, that instinct he tries to pretend isn’t there, the twist low in his gut. Times are hard, only natural to seek comfort, just misplaced camaraderie. That’s all it is.
Captain Davies and his batman Horne build a friendship in the trenches of World War 1.
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The overwhelming burden of being a human by TheCarpetSnake
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
02 Dec 2023
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Greg's finally getting some kip. Alex isn't planning to disturb him.
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The beginning of the rest of our lives together by TheCarpetSnake
Fandoms: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
20 Jan 2023
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In the multiverse, everything that could exist, does exist. Anything is true, somewhere. Infinity is a slippery creature, our stubbornly-finite little monkey brains aren’t supposed to be able to grasp the concept. We remain resolutely caged in this universe, right here, the one we see and touch and live and die in. And yet, if it were somehow possible to peer out through the bars, we’d see an infinite number of other possibilities. And possibly an infinite number of each of us, each peering out at an infinite number of possibilities.
There are worlds where rubber ducks lay rubber eggs, hatching little rubber chicks. Where coconut overlords rule our lives from highrise sandwich towers. Worlds without satsumas, worlds with nothing but satsumas. Worlds where sausage or finger is an Olympic sport, fish puns are the only language, and we are all the spider. Possibly even one where Ricky Gervais is funny.
But what if, perhaps, it were possible to make that baffling infinity tangible, something our monkey brains could comprehend? To somehow reach out and pinch a skein from the multiverse, and feel the strands twisting through our fingers? What if...
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No more 'Big Men' by TheCarpetSnake
Fandoms: No More Jockeys (Web Series) RPF, Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
14 Nov 2022
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No more people who are, when you think about it, the only ones who don't realise they have a massive crush on someone and wonder why everyone else winds them up about it.
If you haven't watched No More Jockeys this will mostly read like unhinged nonsense. If you have watched No More Jockeys this will mostly read like unhinged nonsense and that's exactly what you'll be expecting. Feel free to sing along in the appropriate places.
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Summary
Something isn't right, and Greg doesn't like it, not one bit.
“You’re hard work, my Little Alex Horne, you know that?” A soft kiss on his forehead. “You don’t make it easy to take care of you."