ThatGoose



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Hello,” Ilya repeats, still kind of stuck on those freckles.

    “Hi?” the man says.

    “Hi,” Ilya says—again.

    Oh god, he's said hello three times now. He should literally say anything else. His name, probably. His phone number, preferably.

    “Hi,” Ilya says again, because he can’t help it. “I am—”

    “Are you Nick?” the man asks, and it comes out as a breathless sound.

    OR: Shane gets stood up on a blind date, and Ilya comes to the rescue, and proceeds to make a series of questionable decisions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,878
    Chapters:
    12/12
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    15 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Can’t hang out tonight, Hayd. I have plans.”

    “Bullshit,” Hayden responds. “You never have plans.”

    Objectively, this used to be true. Nowadays Shane has many, many plans, between his nightly plans to look at Ilya’s penis through Skype and his various long-term plans laid out helpfully in his notebook, Canva (For Ilya’s sake. He is a visual learner), and more recently, Excel. Shane loves that excel sheet. He’s colour coded it.

     

    In 2017, Shane Hollander spirals and proposes to his boyfriend of 4 days (or 7 years, or 9 years, or not his boyfriend at all, depending on how you look at it), which leads to a lot of plans, weird theories in the Montreal Voyageur locker room, some Twitter drama, and Ilya Rozanov entering his WAG era.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    118,812
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    4,976
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    27,656
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    9,882
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    12 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov never hooked up at the CCM commercial.

    Now it's 2017. Yuna Hollander is concerned that Shane doesn't have many friends, so she signs him up on a buddy network website.
    Shane gets paired with someone else looking for a 'buddy', not knowing that it's his on-ice rival, Ilya Rozanov.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,834
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    1,554
    Kudos:
    11,982
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    2,560
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    200,058

    08 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    In late 2014, celebrity photos start dropping. Ilya deletes his texts, his photos, a video he should never have taken. It isn't soon enough.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,960
    Chapters:
    8/8
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    4
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    2,065
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    183,534

    03 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    No serious hockey fan or sports commentator worth their salt would have considered record-breaking Boston superstar Ilya Rozanov to be Shane Hollander’s rival exactly, but sleeping with a man who had a specific offense-related vendetta against him and a wrist shot like a jet engine to back it up was probably ill-advised just the same.

    Or, Shane is a goalie. Ilya can’t score.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    148,928
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Comments:
    8,560
    Kudos:
    20,812
    Bookmarks:
    8,420
    Hits:
    658,670

    03 Jun 2026