Sasurai



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    So what is the plan now, Mr. Spreadsheet?

    “Honestly I was kind of hoping your consciousness would just click back into your body once I touched you.” Shane scratches the back of his head.

    You treat me like slap bracelet, Ilya complains.

    After a bad hit knocks Ilya’s consciousness out of his body — literally — Shane finds himself sheltering the soul of his decade-long situationship in the back of his head. Turns out it’s a lot harder to keep secrets when you share a body.

    (They definitely still try, though.)

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    12 Jun 2026

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    Shane Hollander is a man who thrives on structure, routine, the solid ground of a ten-year plan. Ilya likes that about him, likes the embracing squeeze of having a life organized in tandem with Shane.

    No one would call Ilya a man who thrives on structure. But it’s there, if not in his DNA then in the patterns of his brain. A call-and-response of: they do this, I do that.

    When Ilya’s life is flayed open for the world to dissect, how will they push-and-pull their way back towards what was once a well-organized life?


    “I thought we could go through the schedules and figure out what days we’ll be in the same cities this season, or when either of us have a couple of days off in a row. Maybe make a shared calendar, so we c—”

    “A sex calendar? Your parents are arriving in thirty minutes, and you are proposing making a sex calendar?” Oh, this was delicious. He’d be able to eat out on this for years, if Shane was willing to give him that long.

    “It’s not a sex calendar! It’s just … when we might be able to see each other,” he finished, already sounding defeated.

    “And what are you planning on doing when we are seeing each other? Not fucking?”

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    07 Jun 2026

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    Shane will wait. Shane will be patient. Ilya will text him, or Ilya won’t text him. Either way, Shane will be grown and mature about it. And he will not allow himself to be besotted, consumed by the thought of his sweet puppy, his Ilya.

    And he absolutely will not allow himself to continue mentally calling Ilya his.

    Ilya just wants to prove to Mr. Hollander that he can be a good boy. Mr. Hollander is happy to indulge him.

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    06 Jun 2026

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    Ilya is not going to steal Shane Hollander's dog. That would be illegal. And wrong. And someone would probably find out and make Ilya give him back.

    So. Not stealing.

    But there is nothing wrong with giving Chernysh all the pats and treats that he deserves, is there?

    Nothing wrong with encouraging Chernysh to spend more and more time at Ilya's house until he doesn't even remember who Hollander is.

    Because Hollander is stupid and boring and does not deserve a dog as good as Chernysh. No, he doesn't, does he? Because Chernysh is the best boy in the whole world, yes he is.

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    06 Jun 2026

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    As a straight man, Ilya Rozanov has never had a gay roommate before, but it’s going pretty well. Shane Hollander is kind, silly, and an even bigger hockey nut than Ilya.

    So when Shane starts bringing men over, and Ilya begins to want to bash their fucking heads in, Ilya comes to a startling conclusion: He must be homophobic.

    (He’s jealous.)

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    02 Jun 2026