Sashkatz
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Summary
“No,” Napoleon said, “not a nightmare.”
Anything but, he thought, and when he glanced at Illya, hair tousled and still wearing that frown, patiently waiting for his partner’s confession even at this ungodly hour, in this run-down hotel room, he looked so achingly unguarded, so worried, so haunted, that Napoleon, on an impulse born of desperation and hope, threw all caution to the wind.
“Would you believe I dreamed of you?” he asked, and for a moment, the world seemed to stop.
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What do numbers mean to Illya? Everything. And yet... nothing.
A self-indulgently theatrical one-shot exploring Illya’s past, his not-quite-healthy coping mechanisms and the way Napoleon plays into it all.
And yeah, of course Thrush is to blame.
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Thrush and U.N.C.L.E. working together? In my fanfiction? More likely than you think!
While this is not exactly a parody, it's not to be taken quite seriously, either. A tongue in cheek tribute of sorts, if you will. Because, no matter how much you love the show, the premise... well, it’s got to leave you wondering after season one. At best.
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Love sure is blind, especially when the people involved are both pining idiots. But, thankfully, Huggy has about one braincell more than our favourite pair of detectives.
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
A missing scene for The Maze Affair, and then a reimagined ending for it.
Bookmarked by Sashkatz
17 Jun 2026
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Angelique is dead and Napoleon is gripped by such remorse that he is ready to throw in the towel.
Bookmarked by Sashkatz
15 Mar 2026
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Napoleon narrowly misses a shot. This is how Illya knows he has less than an hour to get his partner into bed.
Or, Illya and Napoleon finish an Affair but still have Napoleon’s bi-annual migraine attack to face. Maybe it’s time to address some root causes.
This fic is one of those gen/friendship/possible preslash/some type of (queer)platonic vehicles where you can choose your favourite relationship interpretation. Illya I ended up writing as not-straight, but it’s not a major theme in the story.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,132
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 10
- Kudos:
- 29
- Bookmarks:
- 2
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- 220
Bookmarked by Sashkatz
26 Apr 2026
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After a long and hard day at work Illya's gaze gets caught by a display when he walks by a bookstore.
Bookmarked by Sashkatz
08 Jun 2024
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Driving home after the Terbuf Affair, Illya has the opportunity to ruminate while Napoleon sleeps.
An Easter egg for hirindigonight for the mfuwss livejournal challenge, who asked for something inspired by the song You Can Sleep While I Drive by Melissa Etheridge.
Bookmarked by Sashkatz
14 Apr 2026