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In which Usopp is ping-ponged between two idiots who don’t know how to talk about their feelings.
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“Pardon?” Usopp asked, face a mask of both terror and confusion.
“The cook, I’d like to tell him how I feel,” Zoro grunted.
“I—well it seems to me like you’ve already told him how you feel, plenty of times,” Usopp stammered, “Just this afternoon I heard ‘give me booze,’ ‘fuck you, curly,’ and ‘you look like a wet napkin in a thunderstorm.’”
“No,” Zoro sighed, trying to muster up all the patience he could, though he couldn’t resist snickering a bit at his last ingenious quote, “I want to tell him how I really feel.”
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
21 Jun 2026
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Zoro is on board with Mihawk’s initial plan: Mihawk negotiates a sham political marriage with Germa, Perona flirts with some prince for weeks, and Zoro waits for the fight at the end.
He’s not on board when plans change, and now he’s the one marrying some stupid prince.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,086
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 146
- Kudos:
- 1,920
- Bookmarks:
- 361
- Hits:
- 17,060
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
19 Jun 2026
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Sanji had lived his entire life wondering where his soulmate was. He had imagined their first meeting every chance he got. So what happens when he misses it? When he meets his soulmate during a busy rush at the coffee shop he works at and has no idea who it could be?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 84,861
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Comments:
- 410
- Kudos:
- 1,980
- Bookmarks:
- 361
- Hits:
- 50,152
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
18 Jun 2026
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Sanji’s father always told him to stay away from the edge of the forest that grew a mile away from the castle.
That’s where the Fae hunted for unsuspecting prey, he’d said in the beginning, when Sanji still had potential. They feasted on human flesh, and swapped children out for doppelgangers with too-large eyes and too many teeth. It was not a fate befitting of a Vinsmoke, the king said. By the time Sanji was nine, his father made it clear that being switched out with a Fae child would be an improvement.
Sanji is ten years old when he meets the changeling boy, and only two more than that when he had his own funeral. A war erupts in the name of a scapegoat. When the Fae king of the Sun Court makes a demand for royal blood as payment for peace, Sanji isn't at all surprised to be the chosen sacrifice.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 105,544
- Chapters:
- 37/?
- Comments:
- 1,186
- Kudos:
- 2,365
- Bookmarks:
- 367
- Hits:
- 56,303
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
10 Jun 2026
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Through the power of a strange new devil fruit encounter, Sanji gets turned into an anchor between universes. Zoro doesn't really get to help his crew deal with this, though, because the instant he makes contact with the cook, he's teleported right next to the man again.
Only this time Sanji's wearing different clothes, and looking at him weird. And they aren't on the Sunny anymore. They're in some weird, gray kitchen, and Sanji's holding a weird looking piece of technology, and also looking at him like he doesn't know who the hell he is.
"Who the hell are you?" Sanji says, and it's his voice, but with an accent he doesn't recognize, and Zoro realizes something is very, very wrong.
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Modern AU Sanji / Canonverse Zoro. I know it’s a weird premise. It spoke to me.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 52,367
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Comments:
- 382
- Kudos:
- 1,959
- Bookmarks:
- 380
- Hits:
- 22,281
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
05 Jun 2026
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There is a cat on Going Merry.
Said cat is Zoro. Everyone knows this except Sanji.Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
31 May 2026
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“Hey, Sanji-kun, I have a question about your poster,” Nami starts, her voice tilting up toward the end. “Why does yours say Only Alive?”
Sanji’s first bounty poster causes more problems than he’s worth.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,558
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 137
- Kudos:
- 1,975
- Bookmarks:
- 429
- Hits:
- 19,038
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
28 May 2026
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"Objectively speaking, Sanji’s wedding day is not the worst thing to ever happen to him – there are far too many contenders for that title, but the day of his mother’s death is probably the one topping the chart – but it is on the list somewhere. And not at the bottom, at that."
Or:
Sanji thinks he's marrying the Demon of the East, the Pirate Hunter, a member of the Worst Generation and a cruel pirate, all for his bastard of a father's benefit.
Meanwhile, Zoro is marrying the hot guy he saw once as a picture in Red-Foot Zeff's restaurant. Also, they offered him booze.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 59,995
- Chapters:
- 25/?
- Comments:
- 1,513
- Kudos:
- 3,079
- Bookmarks:
- 607
- Hits:
- 66,468
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
09 May 2026
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After being forced to live with an injured Zoro while stranded together on an inhabited island, Sanji finds his feelings of animosity slowly changing into something else entirely. Which might be easier to swallow if he could get some decent sleep.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 68,099
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 599
- Kudos:
- 2,653
- Bookmarks:
- 661
- Hits:
- 40,948
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
07 May 2026
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Summary
He heard the Marine as he dug into another pocket, shifting forward to hold a lighter near the bars, not yet lit.
“The Straw Hats,” He pressed, bartering with the run of the flint, “where are they?”
Sanji slid his heel along the cell floor and caught it alight; not unlike the draw of a match. He dipped his chin and met the flames halfway along his shin, a satisfied sigh falling out at the first draw of smoke.
The Marine froze awkwardly, his hand lowering slowly and his cheeks flushing with anger.
“I’ll never tell you shit,” Sanji smirked, running a hand leisurely through his tangled locks, “But thanks for the cigarette.”
_____________
Sanji is captured by Marines and held in prison. His top concerns are getting his kind-of-sister-in-law to safety and making sure his captors call him the correct name.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,616
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 120
- Kudos:
- 3,106
- Bookmarks:
- 700
- Hits:
- 20,006
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
05 May 2026
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Your Snail Owes My Snail Child Support by foxglove (FeralPen)
Fandoms: One Piece (Anime & Manga)
08 Dec 2024
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When the Strawhat's new snails decide to get frisky, it's Sanji's snail who ends up impregnated by Zoro's snail.
When Robin suggests this is because the snails picked up on Sanji and Zoro's subconscious desire to bang, Sanji falls into a comedic spiral of angst and self-doubt. Because he can't hook up with anyone unless he's half in love with them, and there's no way Zoro would ever care about him more than just a hookup, and he's not going to put himself through all of that.
Meanwhile, Zoro knows the cook is a hysterical moron. Maybe it's time he does something about that.
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
03 May 2026
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The Going Merry Coffeeshop has a Hot Barista. Access to said Hot Barista is blocked by a Surly Cashier.
Or
Everybody wants Sanji, including Zoro.
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
01 May 2026
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Summary
Vinsmoke Sanji, a prince of Germa, is betrothed to demon king Roronoa Zoro and sent as part of a trade agreement between the two kingdoms to live with his new fiancee. Sanji arrives with a dark task to fulfill, and finds a man quite unlike the demon king he had expected. Will he be able to fulfill his duty and claim his one chance at freedom from his abusive family? Or will he find himself enchanted by the man he was sent to kill and risk never being free of his father again?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 125,277
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Comments:
- 1,212
- Kudos:
- 3,237
- Bookmarks:
- 731
- Hits:
- 93,699
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
01 May 2026
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“Oh. What Zoro finds pretty? That’s obvious."
“It is?” Sanji asks, shocked.
“It is?” Zoro asks, eyes wide.
Or: six times Sanji tries to guess Zoro’s type, and one time Zoro asks for his.
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
16 Apr 2026
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Summary
Zoro has his suspicions about the Cook from the first time they fight together.
From the moment Sanji dives into the waters of Arlong Park, fights a fishman underwater, and wins- Zoro has questions.
Ideally, Zoro would stay out of the Cooks business. In fact, Zoro would prefer to stay out of the Cook’s breathing space in general. However, Zoro also takes his job as First Mate seriously. So when questions become active concerns he finds himself wading into a secret deeper than he can fathom.
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞
Zosan.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,350
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 597
- Kudos:
- 3,369
- Bookmarks:
- 898
- Hits:
- 45,536
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
11 Apr 2026
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There’s something crawling and growing in his lungs. There’s something big and alive and fluttering in his chest. There’s a bitterness against his palate, scratchy against his throat yet feather-soft against his tongue.
There’s a fully formed sunflower head, as big as his fist, in a crumpled mess at his feet.
(or sanji falling in love is, ironically enough, going to be the death of him.)
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
02 Apr 2026
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After coming across a strange mist in the Grand Line, things change drastically for the crew, especially the resident cook and swordsman. How will this change their dynamic going forward? Will they even make it out of this alive?
***
"Is the marimo awake?"
Chopper's voice came out confused. "Zoro?"
"Yes, him. Who else would I be talking about? And why the hell can I only open one eye?"
Zoro's eyes flew open, both of them, and everything snapped into place. His voice sounded off because it wasn't his voice, it was Sanji's, and the voice coming from the bed next to him was his.
The sound of Sanji's voice echoed through the room as he let out one solitary thought.
"Fuck."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,255
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Comments:
- 206
- Kudos:
- 1,060
- Bookmarks:
- 151
- Hits:
- 19,811
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
29 Mar 2026
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Sanji switches bodies with an alternate version of himself — a Vinsmoke Sanji who grew up in Germa, who is an infiltrator, a murderer, and the cruel third son of Vinsmoke Judge. It's a world where Germa reigns powerful.
He has to find his crew again, but one of the first things he finds out is this: the Straw Hats hate him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 135,089
- Chapters:
- 33/?
- Comments:
- 1,251
- Kudos:
- 2,379
- Bookmarks:
- 400
- Hits:
- 59,851
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
19 Mar 2026
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Summary
Zoro has never cared about soulmates, so when Koshiro tells him his soulmate is dead, he doesn't feel sad. He thinks it's great, actually—he doesn't have to worry about love or feelings or shit like that. He doesn't need love in his life.
That is, until he meets the cook.
OR
Judge's experimentation "kills" Sanji's humanity, and so his soulmate thinks he is dead.
🐤🐤🐤
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 101,731
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Comments:
- 534
- Kudos:
- 2,113
- Bookmarks:
- 426
- Hits:
- 42,966
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
14 Mar 2026
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Summary
It starts, as so many things involving them do, with a taunt, a challenge, and an inescapable, stubborn, childish need to win.
“You wouldn't know a good kiss if it bit you, shit-cook.”
Sanji laughs at that ludicrous statement. “A good kiss wouldn't bite, moron. You're delusional if you think you know more about good kissing than me. Know more about anything, really, I mean, come on.”
Sanji's about to turn away and melt into the crowd, forgetting this interaction entirely, when the shitty swordsman says something he simply cannot ignore.
“Bet?”Sanji and Zoro hook up once, but it's just to prove a point. The second time is to even the score. The third time, well...and the fourth...and fifth...and maybe Sanji has a problem.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,817
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 249
- Kudos:
- 1,729
- Bookmarks:
- 473
- Hits:
- 26,337
Bookmarked by Rottenclouds
05 Mar 2026