7 Bookmarks by ReturnOfNormalBusinessHours
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“So when I said I’m afraid I’ll fail you…”
His voice softened to something he didn’t recognize.
“…I mean, I’ve already failed you once. And I don’t get many second chances.”
Bookmarked by ReturnOfNormalBusinessHours
02 May 2026
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Once, back in Kirkwall, Cullen had an arrangement with a member of the city guard that satisfied his needs. But time changed all things, and he despaired of ever finding a similar arrangement again - that was, until he met The Iron Bull. Problem being that Bull seemed to care far more about sorting out the nitty-gritty of such an arrangement than Cullen ever has.
Series
- Part 1 of Puzzle
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 235,586
- Chapters:
- 31/31
- Comments:
- 3,550
- Kudos:
- 4,283
- Bookmarks:
- 1,384
- Hits:
- 139,111
Bookmarked by ReturnOfNormalBusinessHours
12 Feb 2026
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At one end of the party, Sanji is raising a glass mixture of vodka, champagne, and Pop Rocks. He salutes the monstrosity at Usopp and promises a date-free new year. Across the apartment, Nami is dying of embarrassed, shocked, and scandalized laughter. Zoro doesn't say it, but he comes up with his own resolution: no more dating straight-but-curious men.
Wherein Zoro and Sanji are both incredibly stupid, but it gives their friends an excuse to make fun of both of them. How long can their resolutions last?
Series
- Part 1 of ZSZ Modern!AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 86,851
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 232
- Kudos:
- 1,661
- Bookmarks:
- 477
- Hits:
- 40,834
Bookmarked by ReturnOfNormalBusinessHours
18 Feb 2025
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Ted Lasso: Schrodinger's Witch.
Or, the one where AFC Richmond are leading the Premier League table, and Trent Crimm and the rest of the British press are slowly losing their minds as a result.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,449
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 571
- Kudos:
- 8,580
- Bookmarks:
- 2,258
- Hits:
- 71,129
Bookmarked by ReturnOfNormalBusinessHours
10 Feb 2025
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Sanji struggles with an injury that prevents him from cooking. Around the same time, Zoro starts to act strange.
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Unofficial full title: "Plugged (Or, How Peter Learned to Stop Worrying and Get It On)"
~*~*~
"So let me get this straight," Deadpool says slowly. "Your Spidey powers are tweaking, and the only solution you've found is... jerking off?"
Peter flushes hot. "That about sums it up, yeah."
Deadpool's mask does something complicated. "And this is a problem how?"
"Well, it's not like I can do anything in public," Peter points out, hunching his shoulders in embarrassment. "And it's not really sustainable to, uh, do it that much. As I've learned."
Deadpool hums and looks out over the city. "I... may have some ideas."
~*~*~
Thanks to his powers going haywire, Peter can't focus unless he's getting off. Wade volunteers as tribute.
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Jack was still not quite sure how Darling had managed to swing them a shared staircase with no one else on it for their final year. "Interlopers, my dear Jonathan," Darling had said, "are not to be borne in this, our collegiate idyll."