Ramdam_Queen



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  1. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,196
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,621
    Kudos:
    54,005
    Bookmarks:
    11,055
    Hits:
    367,349

    09 Mar 2026

  2. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    The internet has decided that Ilya Rozanov is absolutely, definitely, 100% banging a Hollander.

    They’ve got photo evidence. Multiple sightings. Instagram stories from the same café. The man stayed OVERNIGHT at the Hollander residence.

    It’s the most legendary power move in NHL history: seduce your rival’s hot mom to assert dominance. There’s just one tiny problem with this theory. Ilya’s fucking a Hollander, all right. Just … not that one.

    Or in which Ilya’s boyfriend's mother keeps adopting him, the internet keeps assuming the worst, and Shane Hollander is having the worst month of his entire life. At least until he does something that breaks hockey forever.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,813
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,195
    Kudos:
    39,726
    Bookmarks:
    8,713
    Hits:
    320,373

    08 Mar 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Yuna my goat

  3. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Rozanov cocked his head. “You speak Russian? Or just the curse words?”

    “Yes, I speak Russian,” he snapped, defensive and angry. He knew that it had been a mistake to even try to be friendly with Rozanov. “Why? Do I not look Russian to you?” He scoffed.

    “No, not really,” Rozanov said. Some of his teammates laughed, although they mostly looked surprised that Shane was speaking to them at all. Rozanov didn’t laugh, though. “Are you Russian?”

    “Go fuck yourself.”

    +++

    Despite an inauspicious start, when Russia’s Ilya Rozanov learns that Canada’s Shane Hollander is fluent in Russian at their first World Junior Championships tournament, it changes everything and sets them on a different course. Instead of being branded as rivals from the very beginning, Ilya and Shane start off as friends.

    And, after all, a little friendly rivalry never hurt anyone, did it?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,455
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    2,396
    Kudos:
    54,015
    Bookmarks:
    15,996
    Hits:
    794,666

    08 Mar 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    This may be my favourite handcanon

  4. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    A video of Shane sucking Ilya’s dick is leaked. Over the next twenty-four hours, Ilya goes on an odyssey.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,200
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,877
    Kudos:
    62,776
    Bookmarks:
    14,989
    Hits:
    712,960

    08 Mar 2026

  5. Rec *

    Tags
    Summary

    Sarah
    Does anyone have the number for Shane's girl from Boston? I feel bad that they've been seeing each other for this long and we've never added her here.

    Jackie
    Oh good point! Let me ask Hayden.

    Jackie has added Lily to the conversation

    Lily
    what
    what is this

    Or: Ilya Rozanov is, apparently, one of the girls.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,407
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3,537
    Kudos:
    115,542
    Bookmarks:
    21,616
    Hits:
    1,001,647

    08 Mar 2026