Princessmarissa
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Summary
It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.
This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.
When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.
How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?
Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 250,248
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 2,901
- Kudos:
- 7,164
- Bookmarks:
- 4,236
- Hits:
- 504,565
Bookmarked by Princessmarissa
29 Oct 2025
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Summary
“Tell me where you are.” It wasn’t a question. He was done with the jokes and innuendos. Between the drinking and her promise to show him what her mouth could do, he was more than ready to oblige her request. He hoped Theo wouldn’t mind. Afterall, it would only be a one-time affair. Scratching an itch. Those were the only kind of interactions he had allowed himself with women since Pansy died. Never looking for something more.
She started to say something about her location when he heard Theo's voice boom in the background.
“Oi, Hermione!”
The fuck did he just say?
The blood drained from Draco's face -and…ahem... other places- as he stared dumbfounded at the wall in front of him. He heard that wrong. He had to have heard that wrong. There is absolutely no way that he was just talking to HERMIONE FUCKING GRANGER.A post-war story about our two favorite idiots and their meddlesome best friends.
Comments are welcome here! Please let me know what you think!Series
- Part 1 of Dancing with Death
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 203,124
- Chapters:
- 55/55
- Comments:
- 406
- Kudos:
- 935
- Bookmarks:
- 751
- Hits:
- 75,024
Bookmarked by Princessmarissa
14 Oct 2025