Not_okay



Recent works

Recent series

  1. Summary

    in which Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo all find their different talents

    Words:
    7,192
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    (9:31pm) Ilya: I’m sorry I’ve been such a burden

    (9:33pm) Ilya: I know I’ve taken away your chance to explore yourself and find someone who’s good enough for you. I think you should take that chance now. If you find a nice boy in Montreal who you like, I promise I won’t stand in the way.

    (9:34pm) Ilya: If you still want me at the end of this, I’ll be waiting

    (9:34pm) Ilya: I’m sorry

    OR - Shane's friends keep telling him he can do better than Ilya. Ilya starts to believe them

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,683
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    360
    Kudos:
    3,062
    Bookmarks:
    1,070
    Hits:
    47,670

    03 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Lily: Sorry, I didn’t get to say goodbye

    Shane had found the message sweet despite his disappointment. Now it just feels… ominous.

    That’s usually the point when Shane has to get out of bed and pace around his bedroom and remind himself that, if Ilya is ghosting him (he is not, he’s not, he’s not), then he is also ghosting the rest of the fucking world. Because that is the thing that truly, really, terrifies him.

    No one has heard of Ilya Rozanov in nearly three weeks.

    Shane hasn’t been getting much sleep lately.

    Or:

    After Tampa. Things between Shane and Ilya are finally starting to look stable… until Ilya drops off the face of the Earth with little warning. Shane spirals (a lot) and decides he’s going to find his man if it’s the last thing he does.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,267
    Chapters:
    15/17
    Comments:
    2,050
    Kudos:
    2,524
    Bookmarks:
    671
    Hits:
    73,247

    01 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Hi Ilya,

    My name is Shane! I don’t speak Russian, I hope that’s okay. I’m also 25 years old and I love hockey too! So we have some things in common.

    I’ve never written an inmate before. I don’t really know why I’m doing this. I guess I’m lonely. I’m not very good at making friends or dating. I think maybe I can be a bit awkward in person, but I’m good at writing. So I hope that’s okay.

    or Shane Hollander finds Ilya Rozanov on WriteAPrisoner.com and sends him an email.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,764
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1,118
    Kudos:
    12,333
    Bookmarks:
    2,869
    Hits:
    82,425

    01 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In another timeline, Shane and Ilya hook up in room 1410, nothing goes wrong, and everything plays out exactly as we know it.

    In this one, Yuna Hollander walks in before Ilya can leave—and the seven-year situationship never gets the chance to start. Instead, through the power of miscommunication, Shane and Ilya start dating in 2010. With better support, they make better decisions. Their rivalry fizzles out before it ever has the chance to fully ignite, replaced instead by a beloved “bromance". In 2015, they come out to the NHL and the world.

    No one believes them.

     

    Or: Somehow, despite Shane and Ilya being out for two years, Scott Hunter is still considered the first openly gay player in the NHL, much to Ilya’s horror.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,885
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    1,469
    Kudos:
    3,386
    Bookmarks:
    1,320
    Hits:
    59,797

    30 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Ilya, what are we gonna do?” Shane says.

    Ilya finishes whatever he has been doing on his phone, and tosses it gently to the bed beside him. He crosses the room to Shane, stands in front of him, squeezes into his shoulders with his big hands, rubbing them like he means to warm them up.

    “Looks like we will have a little vacation,” he says, with a big obnoxious grin.

     


     

    Boston and Montreal are sent to Paris to play against each other in an exhibition series in January 2017. Ilya and Shane decide to stay in Paris for one more night. Just one more night, so they can talk. Maybe finally understand each other.

    They aren't expecting a volcano to erupt in Iceland and close all the airspace in Europe, leaving them stranded there. Together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    127,267
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    4,524
    Kudos:
    16,301
    Bookmarks:
    7,042
    Hits:
    507,183

    29 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    the most beautiful thing i’ve read 10000/10