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Summary
"Todd’s crush on Neil was an unfortunate, ever-present, ever-awkward fact of life since the first weeks of the previous school year. Sometime over the break, however, Todd seems to have forgotten just how intense the feelings resulting from said crush can be. Damnit, he thinks silently, damnit, damnit, damnit."
or, a fic in which Neil lives, and two boys learn what love is in their senior year at Welton.
Series
- Part 1 of the sustenance and the pang
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Summary
Love was the law and religion was taught, I'm not bought.
Todd has always been told what to believe: in God, in order, in silence. But nothing prepared him for how love would feel when it arrived like fire — in Neil’s laughter, in the quiet moments that said too much, in the forbidden thought that maybe he was never meant to live a life made of rules.
Then Neil died, and all Todd was given were "thoughts and prayers," as if faith could stitch a wound like this. He can’t pray anymore. He writes poems he’ll never read aloud. He keeps seeing Neil in the stars, in memories, in the breaths between stanzas.
This is a story about what’s left behind when the boy you love dies believing the world wouldn’t love him back.
Of guilt that feels sacrilegious.
Of grief that burns.
About a kind of love too pure for the world that condemned it.Tell me the fable where we got a happy ending. Please.
Series
- Part 1 of do not go gentle into that good night
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love was the law (and religion was taught) by ierobian
Fandoms: Dead Poets Society (1989)
09 Apr 2025
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Summary
The secret love between Todd and Neil becomes too much.

