NobleMonkey
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Summary
He's heard a lot of people say they don't know exactly when their problem started.
They say it was a lot of things- a lot of situations and moments and thoughts that somehow came together, that grew little by little, that ended up exploding before they could realize they had a problem.
Buck knows the exact moment when it all started. He remembers it clearly- and sometimes he feels guilty about it, because he made a choice, he told himself he was going to do it and he tried really damn hard to stick to his word. It's like he wanted it.
Like he craved it.
The problem starts again when he moves in with Eddie.
or, buck struggles with food and his body. it's not new.
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Summary
“I’ll do whatever you want, just, please.” Buck sobs out the last word, eyes burning with unshed tears.
“A vow.” The man leans uncomfortably close to Buck. The knife brushes against his neck, lightly scratching across the top layer of Buck’s skin. The man’s cold blue eyes hold Buck’s full attention. “That’s what I require. Sell me your allegiance.”
Buck stares back at the killer, unable to fully process what is being asked of him. He sees a flash of anger dance in the stranger’s gaze. He's impatient. Unpredictable. Fear pours into Buck's chest as he realizes he might not get a second chance at this. He has to make this count. “I vow to give you complete control over the remainder of my life. My body is yours to destroy—so long as you let my sister live and return safely to her family.”
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Or, After Eddie leaves for Texas, Buck goes to seek comfort from his sister and walks in on her kidnapping. In order to save Maddie's life, Buck offers up his instead. Unintentionally agreeing to something worse than death.
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“Maddie,” he sighs, shaking his head, “it’s—It’s nothing, really. From what the internet told me, I’m still, you know… processing Bobby’s—” The word sticks in his throat, he forces it out anyway. “His death.” The syllables taste wrong, bitter, like saying them makes it more real. “You don’t need to worry about me,” he finishes quietly.
Maddie just looks at him, unconvinced. “You haven’t seen the way your body shakes with those nightmares,” she says, voice lowering just slightly. “You stop breathing sometimes.”
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Buck spirals after Bobby's death. No one really realises how bad it gets.
Series
- Part 1 of same but different
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Summary
Buck wasn't exactly the poster boy for good mental health before Bobby died. After his argument with Eddie, he spirals further and in a way that no one is used to. Quietly.
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“Memory loss?” Evan frowns, because he wishes he had memory loss. He remembers pretty much everything about the last three hellish months of his life. At least, what he was awake for. “Like, amnesia?”
“Exactly like amnesia. You seem to be missing a few years of your memory. You believe you are twenty-one years old, correct?”
“Y-yeah.” Evan nods, mind racing, searching for the memories the doctor is telling him he’s lost.
“You are currently twenty-seven years old.” The doctor says. “You’ve been living in Los Angeles for a while now, according to your boss. You met him earlier, although I’m not sure how much you remember.”
“The guy with the rosary?” Evan’s voice catches. He remembers the stranger vaguely. He remembers being scared.
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Or: Buck is injured during a call and wakes up as Evan. Evan's last memory is being held captive by a cult leader who kidnapped him while he was living in Peru.
Series
- Part 1 of The Order of The Emerald Stars