Lem0nPuff



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    “I’m putting in a transfer request to Carleton this afternoon.”

    Ilya gets off his bike and wraps his sweaty arms around Shane’s sweaty shoulders, presses their sweaty heads together and holds him tight. “Nooo, Hollander, you cannot leave me. Who will put Barrett and Marly in time out when they fuck up too many shots in a row?”

    “I’m sure Bood will do it. He loves bossing people around.”

    Bood stands up straight and salutes his captains. “I take the title with great honor. Enjoy the Ravens, Hollander—your legacy of being a chaste Victorian debutante will be remembered fondly but not carried on.”

    This snaps that last thread of Shane’s refined patience. “I can pick up girls! I have no problem getting numbers and calling them and talking!”

    Hazy smirks. “Innocent until proven guilty.”

    “I can pick people up,” Shane says again, moving off his bike and out of Ilya’s sweaty embrace. “And I don’t have to do it by concocting schemes or stripping on top of the LAX bros’ coffee table.”

    Or, after some team chirping at Shane's expense, Ilya accidentally interrupts a few of his potential dating prospects and then keeps on doing it less than accidentally

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    05 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    soulmates verse where people are compelled to collect items for their soulmate that they might need/want/use.

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    05 Jan 2026

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    "Listen, Mr. Rozanov." The general manager is talking out of the side of his mouth, his cigarette dropping ashes all over the hotel table. "We like you. We want you. We understand you are putting yourself under a fair amount of risk here, meeting with us like this. I hope it's obvious that if you play for us, we will set you up for a good life in Canada."

    He pauses, looks Ilya in the eye. "But you have to understand, if you agree to this, you have to be prepared to leave with us right now."

    Red Army superstar Ilya Rozanov defects from the Soviet Union. A Cold War-era hockey AU

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    01 Jan 2026

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    "It was nothing, Ilya. Don't worry about it."

    "Ah," Ilya said, and something like understanding crossed his face. "Was about us, then."

    Shane pressed his forehead to Ilya's neck. Of course Shane couldn't just slip this by, of course he would be figured out. He wrapped Ilya up in a hug and moved his hand up and down his back, in a way that he hoped said it doesn't matter.

    "He just–after he checked me, I called him a dick, and then he said I'd need my big scary Russian husband to protect me. And then he called you a name, and…"

    Shane didn't know how to finish that sentence, so he let it trail off. And it felt so unfair. And I got more angry than I had any reason to. And I hate that I can't go one game without my sex life being brought up in some way. And it's happened a million other times, so why should I have cared on this one specific occasion?

    Over the course of the first half of his fifth season on the Centaurs, Shane considers retirement, homophobia, his public life, family, and his legacy. He also gets a tooth knocked out, visits the beach, and is repeatedly pissed off by how hot his husband is.

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    31 Dec 2025

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    Ilya died, yes, but then the doctors saved him. Cardiopulmonary resuscitation in the ambulance, three electric shocks, two emergency surgeries, twenty-six units of blood. Ilya died, but then he came back.

    If only Shane could get his subconscious to understand that.

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    30 Dec 2025