KAC_4
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Hold On (I Still Want You) by velminort
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
11 Jan 2026
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Summary
Shane and Ilya broke up. It was the adult, mature decision they made together and moved on from. Except Shane is still Ilya's emergency contact and Ilya's coach just called.
Ilya had a seizure. Well, seizures. Multiple. He is in the hospital, in the operation block and suddenly Shane is met with the possibility that last words Ilya Rozanov ever heard from him were "Maybe love isn't enough."
And then complications occur. And Ilya is not waking up.
***
They’d sat on a perfectly ordinary Wednesday afternoon in their perfectly ordinary kitchen, with coffee that had gone cold on the table between them, and calmly dismantled the life they’d built together. One sentence at a time.
“Maybe we need space.” “Maybe we’re just hurting each other.” “Maybe love isn’t enough.”
He wants to go back and shove that version of himself against the wall. Shake him until his teeth rattle.
Love is the only thing that matters when someone is under general anaesthesia and a stranger is touching their brain, Shane thinks wildly. Love is literally the only currency worth anything in a room like this.
Series
- Part 1 of Hold On (I Still Want You)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,239
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 516
- Kudos:
- 12,107
- Bookmarks:
- 3,064
- Hits:
- 180,234
Bookmarked by KAC_4
02 Mar 2026
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Summary
Essek goes home, and there is no one waiting at his door. This should be some manner of relief. But his towers haven't felt like a safe haven for a long time now, long before errant scourgers appeared to harass him with strange questions. He misses the immediacy of that threat, prefers it over the slow and indulgent terror of whatever punishment is coming for him, someday soon.
He tells himself that he misses only that, the simplicity of being unsafe in the company of predators, and that he does not miss the company itself.
(In which a pair of scourgers shows up at Essek’s doorstep and saves him from himself.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 63,957
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Comments:
- 786
- Kudos:
- 2,035
- Bookmarks:
- 662
- Hits:
- 40,881
Bookmarked by KAC_4
25 Nov 2024
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A thousand fingerprints on the surfaces of who I am by SkyScribbles
Fandom Critical Role (Web Series)
02 Oct 2020
Summary
'Changing is hard. For most of us, it happens little by little in in the smallest moments and we don’t notice it, we don’t choose it. But looking yourself in the face and deciding to be different – that is hard. You are unpicking threads of who you are that were put in place more than a century ago.'
(A collection of Essek-centric oneshots, following a hypothetical redemption journey post-Episode 97. Features Shadowgast and Essek's platonic relationships with the Nein. The fics are arranged in rough chronological order and are loosely interconnected, but they can all be read individually. This series was written during the 2020 hiatus, so is not canon compliant beyond episode 100.)
- Words:
- 64,780
- Works:
- 14
- Bookmarks:
- 441
Bookmarked by KAC_4
25 Nov 2024
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Summary
Essek has a moment to consider that gravity-based trust exercises have never worked for him, and then the spell hits. He leans back into it, falls, falls.
(In which Essek is resurrected by the Mighty Nein and framed for innocence.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,857
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 516
- Kudos:
- 3,327
- Bookmarks:
- 901
- Hits:
- 43,577
Bookmarked by KAC_4
22 Nov 2024
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a flicker, a spark by acastle
Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023)
28 Sep 2023
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Summary
“She truly is your daughter, Alex,” Henry sighs, defeated.
“Fuck off, sweetheart,” he laughs, a soundbite of the sun. Henry forces himself not to physically react, the term of endearment sweet and menacingly familiar coming from Alex’s lips. It’s been years. “You know they’re useful.”
“Ah yes, eyelashes, truly a formidable instrument in managing international relations.”
Alex grins, and Henry is too late to catch the slightest downward lilt on the corner of his mouth, “Worked on you once, didn’t it?”
Oh, did that ache.
(Much had happened since the time Henry had told Alex to leave. Alex had passed the bar, gotten married, had the most beautiful daughter. And Henry, well. He stayed right where he was.)
Series
- Part 1 of orion in your fingertips
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,067
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 1,310
- Kudos:
- 5,147
- Bookmarks:
- 1,825
- Hits:
- 144,881
Bookmarked by KAC_4
15 Jun 2024