IronPhoenix



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    “It’s okay. I don’t need anything.” 

    “I am not going to eat in front of you while you have nothing, Hollander,” Ilya scoffs. He plucks a can of cold ginger ale from the top shelf as casually as he can manage and slides it over the island, interrupting Hollander’s fidgeting thumbs. “You must be hungry, yes? It’s been hours since you left hotel. I can make something. Easy.” 

    “Make… what?” he asks warily.  

    Ilya rolls his eyes and tosses a look over his shoulder. “Do not worry. I will find something that works for your special hockey diet,” he teases. He reaches back into the fridge. “Tuna melt okay?” 

    “No,” Hollander says primly. “And it’s a disease. Not a diet.” 

    He pulls his hands out of the cold and turns, blinks. “What?” 

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    15 Jun 2026

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    Svetlana sat there, gorgeous as always, curls catching the light, wearing his new Ottawa jersey.

    At least this time, Ilya thought gravely, she wore pants.

     

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    Svetlana meets Shane Hollander. Ilya thinks all in all, it could have gone worse.

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    15 Jun 2026

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    "Oh." Hollander has gone a little red, beneath his freckles. "I am from… French Canada? Québec? Do you know? Very… very small town there, no English, only French. I try to learn, but— is a bit hard."

    Ilya feels mildly stupid. He knew, obviously, that they speak French in Canada, but he didn’t know it was, like— some people’s only language. He’d sort of assumed everyone was fluent in both.

    "Huh. Cool."

    "Your English is very good," Hollander offers.

    Ilya laughs.

    "I mean, yeah— I grew up in Minneapolis."

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    aka. the one where the language barrier is reversed. it changes everything.

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    15 Jun 2026

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    "Fucking moron." Cliff mutters. "Who doesn't like eating pussy? Well. I mean." He darts a glance out of the corner of his eye.
    Rozanov chuckles into the mouth of his beer. "Marley, you know how much pussy I've eaten?"
    "I just meant--I wasn't trying to be insensitive. I know Hollander's gay."
    "Mm. True, Shane would cry." He tilts his beer into his mouth then, so Cliff almost doesn't hear him say, "Different for him with cock, though."
    Cliff laughs. "You're a fuckin' dog, Rozy."
    "Whaaat? I'm just saying, my husband? Fucking lo-o-ves to suck cock. Loves it."

    Cliff is just trying to be a good friend. He's not realizing anything about himself at all.

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    15 Jun 2026

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    NHL Updates @NHLUpdates
    Montreal captain Shane Hollander begs for information about a mysterious “Boston Lily” who he’s been secretly dating for six years, sparking a viral movement to reunite the pair. Full story below.

    metrooos @hockleberry
    guys I think we might have to lock the fuck in????? #FindBostonLily

    --OR--

    Amnesiac!Shane knows that he's in love, but not who he's in love with. The internet vows to assist.

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    15 Jun 2026