Hoffmannism
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Niko friert nicht. Wirklich nicht.
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'cause i'm a screamer, baby, make me a mute by Hoffmannism
Fandoms: The Blacklist (US TV), Ocean's Eleven Trilogy (Movies)
12 Apr 2021
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"Uh-huh", Turk says absentmindedly and looks around the empty hotel suite, but Reddington is already gone. Fuck.
"Jesus", Virgil breathes, "there really is no blood left in your brain."
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Or: the one where Turk has the hots for Reddington who turns out to have a dirty mouth
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Out of reflex Reddington wet his lips. This felt strange – it wasn’t that Red hasn’t done an autopsy before; he knew what to do. Not as good as Mr. Kaplan or an actual M.E., but he knew his way around. But Ressler’s body was still a little warm and looked like it could open its cold, dead eyes any moment, and Red almost felt like this whole setting was far too intimate for the two of them.
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Recent series
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tumblr ficlets / requests / writing exercises by Hoffmannism
Fandom The Blacklist (US TV)
24 May 2020
Summary
As the title says; drabbles, snippets, ficlets I wrote mainly for practice reasons, most possibly instead of sleeping; originally posted on tumblr (@bi-ressler).
They‘re all stand-alones.
- Words:
- 2,598
- Works:
- 1
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Eddie doesn't want Venom to eat people. In the process of finding other things to eat, Eddie starts putting on weight and Venom likes it. Eddie likes it, too. So does Anne. So does Dan.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,242
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 16
- Kudos:
- 386
- Bookmarks:
- 52
- Hits:
- 11,489
Bookmarked by Hoffmannism
20 Jun 2026
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*Title translation: Eat, My Pig
Based on a prompt. Charles Augustus Magnussen is truly a piece of work. His latest prey is none other than Mycroft Holmes. And he knows exactly which pressure points to target. Firstly, the man's little brother, and secondly, his waistline. He issues an ultimatum: Mycroft must become Magnussen's personal pet pig, or Sherlock may well lose his life as well as his reputation.
Bookmarked by Hoffmannism
17 Apr 2026
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Bean's Beans by thespiritscalling
Fandoms: The Play That Goes Wrong Series - Lewis & Sayer & Shields, The Goes Wrong Show (TV 2019)
03 Jan 2022
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It’s New Year’s Eve, and for some godforsaken reason Chris’s coffee shop is still open. Don’t ask him why. He’s looking forward to going back home at the end of the night and ringing in the new year with tea and a book, decidedly away from the world -
Except that’s not what’s going to happen.
When an accident and a shelter-in-place order traps Chris, Dennis, five customers, and two civilians inside the shop, it soon becomes clear they’re not going anywhere anytime soon. Spending the night together seems like such a daunting task. But despite all the rocky starts and rocky middles, they're determined to make it through. After all, the new year is meant to bring with it a sort of magic - friendships, fights, and alongside it all, the smell of coffee beans.
Bookmarked by Hoffmannism
29 Dec 2025
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Smoke by takoyakitorchwick
Fandoms: The Play That Goes Wrong (Lewis/Sayer/Shields), The Goes Wrong Show (Lewis/Sayer/Shields)
27 Jan 2020
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Trevor is a chain smoker. He doesn't care if it bothers anyone, because there's no-one within a fifty mile radius who could replace him in the group. Max, however, seems the opposite of bothered by the habit.
Bookmarked by Hoffmannism
27 Dec 2025
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Tucker and Samantha: Whatever This Is (I Have No Idea) by orphan_account
Fandoms: Original Work
09 Nov 2024
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Tucker and Samantha, a couple on the higher-end, enjoy eating out together and being spoiled by their parents. I'm sure you already know where this is going, but things may get freakier than you think...
What a massive waste of time this was. lol
Bookmarked by Hoffmannism
07 Oct 2025