ForeverAlone5



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  1. Public Bookmark 63

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    "Do you ever wish I was softer?" he asks Ilya. "That I was less stubborn or more...I don't know. Sweet?"

    They're lying in bed, legs intertwined and bodies tangled together under the sheets, still naked from the night before. It's a quiet Sunday morning, sun peeking through the curtains and warming Shane's half of the bed. Ilya's hand curls at the nape of his neck, fingers working through the knots in Shane’s hair.

    Ilya hums before, "You think you are not sweet?"

    or, shane worries he's not enough of an omega and ilya helps remind him that he is.

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    16 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Go?” Rozanov repeats, and Shane thinks he manages to nod, thinks he manages to spin some kind of excuse that he knows Rozanov doesn’t really buy, but he needs to go. He needs to get out of here. He needs to find somewhere quiet and calm where he can ride out this panic and painful tightness until he can catch his breath again. He needs-

    He needs to go.

    “I’m sorry,” he says, turning heel and resisting the urge to just book it right for the front door only because he’d rather not have to explain to Hayden why he returned from a hookup with Boston Lily in men’s clothes that he certainly didn’t leave in.

    It’s not until he makes it halfway up the stairs to Rozanov’s bedroom that it occurs to him in a cold rush that it isn’t just anxiety that makes it this hard to breathe.

    “No,” he tells himself firmly, white knuckling the bannister and trying to take a deep breath just to prove that he can.

    It wheezes.

    (how the tuna meltdown is averted through the power of food allergies and anaphylaxis)

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    16 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    It does mean missing out on things like barbeques and team dinners sometimes, but it’s not as if he would have been able to participate anyway. At this point in his life, risking someone not taking his allergies seriously would mean potentially missing games, which makes it unacceptable. Jackie always makes sure he has a dish or two that’s safe when he’s over at their house, but if he was going to be the one guy sitting and drinking ginger ale instead of taking part in sharing nachos or Korean barbeque or burgers or any other delicious thing he goes in knowing he can’t have anyway, there’s no point in making a fuss about it. He eats at home, has a drink with everyone else, and he calls it a day. Easy. Safe. Foolproof.

    But also the reason it doesn’t occur to him that he hasn’t actually told Ilya about any of his allergies until it becomes immediately relevant five days into being at his cottage together.

    (how ilya learns about shane's food allergies) (and how shane learns what it's like to have someone who always saves him a seat at the table) (and who also makes sure there's food he can eat on the table to start with)

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    16 Jun 2026

  4. Rec *

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    “No vodka?” Rozanov asks, tsking in disapproval but looking amused. “What then? What does the great Shane Hollander want when he does a good job? What is your vice, Hollander?”

    “Hmmmm, mangoes,” Shane sighs out wistfully. It’s not a dangerous allergy for him, but it does mean being itchy and sometimes a little queasy for a couple of days after. Really he knows that he should probably avoid them altogether, but with every other restriction he has and with how controlled he is with his life even outside of that, it’s his one little indulgence, a pressure-relief valve of one bad choice to let some steam off at the end of a season, when he carves out time in his cottage when he can make his annual bad choice and enjoy a few days of wild mango madness before he makes himself buckle back into the restraints he usually keeps his life in.

    He looks up when he hears Rozanov snort.

    “Mangoes?” Rozanov repeats, tugging his shirt over his head. “Really?”

    “They’re good,” Shane defends. “Better than vodka,” he adds, pointedly.

    (shane has food allergies but makes an exception for mangoes) (5 times ilya didn't find out about this allergy and 1 time he did)

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    16 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Pen is genuinely my favourite Hollanov author of all time. What I would do to get a look inside that brain 😌

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    The Rozanov pack reunites all their unmated members in a ceremony to choose their mate.
    Shane plans to survive unnoticed after self–sabotaging his only chance at true love.
    He doesn't plan on running, but Ilya Rozanov might not agree.

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    16 Jun 2026