Foophile



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya’s brows quirked again, and he flicked open the first page of the textbook, ‘and you decided to learn Russian now because...?’

    ‘Because I married a Russian man, and I figured it was about time I learned.’

    ‘You never learned with me.’ Ilya said.

    ‘No.’ Shane replied, tersely, ‘there was a lot I never did with you.’

    Or: After Shane's college relationship ends in heartbreak, he patches up his wounds by marrying a wealthy, older man, and he's so sure his life is perfect. That is, until his ex re-enters the picture, and he wonders if maybe he got it all wrong.

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    13/13
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    22 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Svetlana knows about Jane. It's frankly insulting for Ilyusha to think otherwise.

    She just never expected to have to call him for help. During the Olympics. In Russia. In the dead of night.

    -
    Or, it's Sochi 2014 and Russia has lost to Latvia. Grigori Rozanov, not yet compromised by illness, punishes his son for shaming the family. When Svetlana finds an injured and emotionally fragile Ilya, she knows she needs somewhere safe for him to recover. And there's only one person in Russia who Sveta trusts with her Ilyusha: Canada's Golden Boy, Shane Hollander.

    Series
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    12/12
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    21 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    After the tuna melt meltdown, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are invited to a trivia night at All Stars.

    What could go wrong?

    Language:
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    20 Jun 2026

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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    20 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Can’t hang out tonight, Hayd. I have plans.”

    “Bullshit,” Hayden responds. “You never have plans.”

    Objectively, this used to be true. Nowadays Shane has many, many plans, between his nightly plans to look at Ilya’s penis through Skype and his various long-term plans laid out helpfully in his notebook, Canva (For Ilya’s sake. He is a visual learner), and more recently, Excel. Shane loves that excel sheet. He’s colour coded it.

     

    In 2017, Shane Hollander spirals and proposes to his boyfriend of 4 days (or 7 years, or 9 years, or not his boyfriend at all, depending on how you look at it), which leads to a lot of plans, weird theories in the Montreal Voyageur locker room, some Twitter drama, and Ilya Rozanov entering his WAG era.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    118,812
    Chapters:
    8/8
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    20 Jun 2026