FirstDeadRobin



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov is in love, closeted, catastrophically lonely, and apparently incapable of referring to Shane Hollander in present tense.

    The Centaurs come to a- given the circumstances- reasonable conclusion.

    Or:
    Five times the Centaurs thought Ilya Rozanov was mourning his dead wife, and the one time they discovered his wife was actually Shane Hollander.
    Shane, for the record, is alive and really confused.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,431
    Chapters:
    6/6
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    12 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    A night out at the Kingfisher during a team roadtrip to New York leaves Ilya cursed with a truth spell. Worried this will ruin everything for Ilya and Shane and their very secret relationship, Ilya scrambles to break the curse before saying anything he can't take back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,509
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    622
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    12 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane's eyes squeeze closed again. “We had reason to put rules in place. Protocol. If ever—if it got to a place where, if he was ever feeling like he might—"

    Hayden’s body understands before his mind catches up. His blood runs cold for a second, stuck on the scrunch of Shane’s face, the clench of his fist, how desperate he’d been to see Rozanov—Ilya—just now. To make sure that he was okay. Here, in person.

    Not hurt. Alive.

    “Oh,” Hayden hears himself say distantly. “Oh, fuck, Shane.”

    --

    or, Ilya needs a place to go, and Hayden's happens to be the closest. It turns out to be a good thing.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,339
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    12 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “We do not say anything about the Hollander situation,” LeClaire tells them even though it sounds like he’s already resigned to what he knows is going to happen.

    After all, Roz gets extremely mad whenever it’s brought up. Not that Cliff can blame him, he’s pretty sure that Roz liked Hollander before this (wouldn’t chirp him half as much if he didn’t). Finding out that he’s such a bastard must sting.

    Not to mention that Roz does not mess around with people that disrespect girls. Or women. Or kids. Or dogs. Or the elderly (excluding Scott Hunter). Or really anyone, if it’s for petty stupid reasons.

    “Of course,” Cliff agrees for both of them since Roz is still too busy texting someone.

    It’s apparently not good enough for LeClaire because he asks, “Roz?”

    “Just one second,” he answers without raising his eyes from his phone or stopping his typing. “Need to get my Jane to agree with something. She’s very stubborn.”

     

    Or. My take on the 'their text leak and now everybody thinks that Shane is an abusive bastard' premise. Featuring Ilya giving a presser, Marly realizing in real time who 'Jane' is and the internet reacting to the craziness.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,880
    Chapters:
    3/4
    Comments:
    615
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    6,580
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    1,515
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    69,472

    12 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Oh my god,” the intruder says, voice coming faster and higher-pitched. “Shane, what the fuck? Oh my god.”

    “Eeleeyah, come to my cottage,” Ilya mocks, voice muffled by Shane’s skin. “Don’t go to Russia. Come to my house instead. Is so private. No one will know…we will be completely alone. Together.”

    “Oh my god, is that Ilya Rozanov?” the intruder yelps like he's about to start hyperventilating. “Why is Ilya Rozanov half-naked in our kitchen, Shane?”

    “Okay, I know how this looks,” Shane tells Ilya, “But I mean, technically, we are still alone. Together.”

    or,

    At the cottage, Shane and Ilya meet eighteen year old Shane Hollander. This is really only a surprise for one of them. Everyone handles it as well as can be expected.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,618
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    1
    Comments:
    1,037
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    146,381

    11 Jun 2026