Chelseajean2000
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I'll Feel You Forget Me Like I Used to Feel You Breathe by turningthepages
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
22 Mar 2023
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Summary
A car accident leaves Eddie without ten years of memories. He forgets meeting Buck, falling in love, getting married, and bringing two more kids into their life. As Eddie struggles to adjust to this new life, Buck struggles with being in love with someone who doesn't want to remember him.
Oh, and they have really cute kids.
or
Just another Hollywood Amnesia story the fandom probably didn't need but lived in my head rent free for too long.
Series
- Part 1 of I'll Feel You Forget Me
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 128,883
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 1,231
- Kudos:
- 7,316
- Bookmarks:
- 2,585
- Hits:
- 206,571
Bookmarked by Chelseajean2000
07 Apr 2026
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Summary
“On the other side of this,” Eddie whispers. “Maybe we can try it.”
“Hm, okay,” Buck hums, apparently awake, but barely. “What are we tryin’?”
“I know now isn’t the right time. I’m not - - we’re not ready. But this next bit isn’t going to be pretty. It’s going to be hard. And I need you to know, so you have something to hold on to. So that I don’t forget what it feels like. What it felt like. We could - - we could try.”
Or, after the kidnapping, Buck goes through it. Eddie goes through it with him.
Bookmarked by Chelseajean2000
22 Mar 2026
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Summary
“I'm gay.”
He's looking at his feet, because he hasn't quite come to terms with the fact that he's saying this in a room where other people, strangers, can hear it.
But this is still the first time he's said it this way: out loud, in a declarative sentence. Being nervous is fine. Frank said that being nervous is fine, and Buck just said he's proud, and the only thought Eddie has in his head is that it's embarrassing he can't raise his head and say it like a man, so clearly, he's going to need to hang on to other people's words for the time being, someone who isn't his dad trying to explain the ways Eddie's allowed to inhabit the world.
He doesn't need to ask anyone's permission to be who he is. That's also a thing Frank said.
in which eddie attends a self-empowerment group for gbtq men to supplement his therapy, and is empowered to: forgive himself, say "i'm gay" to his own reflection in the mirror, accidentally adopt an adult, make fried rice, and tell his straight best friend that he's in love with him. not necessarily in that order.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 56,228
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 783
- Kudos:
- 5,713
- Bookmarks:
- 2,138
- Hits:
- 76,300
Bookmarked by Chelseajean2000
04 Mar 2026
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Summary
Buck tries to commit the frame to memory, wills himself not to forget the important details—Eddie on his knees in front of him, his nails seeking purchase along Buck's thighs as he drinks him down, his drawn-out gasps when Buck returns the favor.
After, when Buck reaches out for quiet confirmation in the dark, asks him, "Good?"
Eddie tells him, earnest and hard-won, "Everything is good with you," and Buck can bask in the illusion of a world where he almost believes it.
Buck is trying to leave the past where it belongs. Then he wins an all-expenses-paid trip to Italy, convinces Eddie to join him, and falls headfirst into (not so) casual sex with his best friend.
Bookmarked by Chelseajean2000
20 Feb 2026
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Summary
“You should watch Heated Rivalry! It’s perfect for you guys,” Hen said brightly, rising from her chair and making her way toward the sink to dump out the rest of her coffee.
Ravi’s accompanying nod was almost grave. “HBO Max.”
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Buck and Eddie watch Heated Rivalry together and get a little... heated, together.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,748
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 398
- Kudos:
- 1,040
- Bookmarks:
- 211
- Hits:
- 18,900
Bookmarked by Chelseajean2000
10 Feb 2026