CandlemasBells



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  1. Public Bookmark 40

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    Summary

    Once upon a time there was a bard.

    No, that’s not right.

    Once upon a time there was...

    A Witcher. A princess. A boy, too stupid to know any better. A boy who grew old following someone who never wanted him.

    No. No, that part doesn’t matter.

    Once upon a time there was a princess who died when Cintra fell. Once upon a time there was a princess who fled into the woods and got eaten by wolves. A princess who climbed a tree and starved to death for fear of coming down. A princess who burned the world to ashes. A princess who was nowhere, and no one ever found so much as a strand of her moonsilver hair.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    432
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    284
    Bookmarks:
    40
    Hits:
    1,147

    03 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Jaskier stared in horror at the man before him.

    No, not man, because no man would ever do something so horrifying and appalling such as this without so much as a twitch to his face, and even though Jaskier spent most of his time and effort trying to convince this self-deprecating hunk of a witcher that no, he was not a heartless monster and was in fact, still human in many aspects, Jaskier could not bring himself to do it now. Not this time.

    Maybe not ever.

    ~

    You know how some game mechanics make sense in games but are absolutely ridiculous in real life?

    Crackfic where instead of grand adventures and heroics, Jaskier spends his travels having to deal with Geralt’s absurd behavior - from horrifying eating habits, his ridiculous collection of broken rakes, aggressive herb gathering techniques, to a frankly scary obsession with Gwent, among other things.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,953
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    946
    Kudos:
    1,947
    Bookmarks:
    456
    Hits:
    24,440

    01 Jul 2020

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Five times Jaskier snuggles up with Geralt, and one time Geralt seeks him out instead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,285
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    239
    Kudos:
    1,122
    Bookmarks:
    132
    Hits:
    7,832

    09 Jun 2020

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "Unbridled curiosity can kill more than just a cat, Geralt." Borch rested a gloved hand on Geralt's shoulder. "Guard your mind and make haste, my friend, lest you force destiny to grant you your blessing." (Because we all know Jaskier wouldn't have made it down the mountain without running face-first into trouble.) Jaskier Whump and Friendship Fixit. Rated T for violence/mild gore

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,376
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    528
    Bookmarks:
    128
    Hits:
    8,796

    05 Jun 2020

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "There is blood staining his teeth. He can taste it, rich and red. Metallic, it burns as it drips down his throat."

    Jaskier runs into some trouble late one evening after a night at the pub. He does his best to defend himself, grateful for the fact that when things get particularly bad Geralt is there to have his back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,420
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    914
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    8,719

    27 May 2020