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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    When Ilya woke up that morning, the first thing his eyes saw were Shane's dark locks, then his beautiful skin, kissed by the warm rays of the sun that was shining bright in the sky.

    Ilya had always felt safe there, tangled with the love of his life in his bed; he finally felt at home, after so many years of despair and hiding his feelings.

    He really hoped that was just one of the many more mornings that life was giving them.

    What he couldn’t have imagined, though, was that a few hours into that same day their lives would have changed forever. He really did not remember that black haired woman who was claiming to be the mother of a daughter he never knew of.

     

    Or

    Ilya has the almost perfect life with the man he loves. Now, he has to find room in it for the daughter he didn’t know he had, and the woman who’s leaving her behind.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    108,435
    Chapters:
    12/27
    Comments:
    166
    Kudos:
    455
    Bookmarks:
    189
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    12 Jun 2026

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    12

  2. Public Bookmark 18

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    Shane had come around on the idea of Ilya spitting on his food and in his drinks the second he realised that it was going to become a theme. The immediate gut reaction of arousal, lead fairly quickly into a private spiral of shame before looping back around to a deep wanting again. The whole thought process had occurred in roughly under 5 minutes. But knowing you liked your husband spitting on everything and asking for it were two completely different things. Shane thought about it a lot, practiced how he would bring it up in conversation in his head and tried to give small hints to Ilya that he would be open to trying it again sometime. Eventually, he resigned himself to wait, he knew Ilya well enough to trust he would handle it.

    Or: the five times Ilya spits on Shane's food/drink and one time Shane spits back

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,718
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    112
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    2,285

    10 Jun 2026

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  3. Public Bookmark *

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    "The joke had been: Rozanov was so drunk he flirted with me at a party while I was wearing a wig. That story was over. The story now was: me and Rozanov made out at a party and he thought I was a girl."

    Or: at a halloween party, Ilya Rozanov mistakes his rookie rival for a pretty girl named Jane.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,395
    Chapters:
    8/9
    Comments:
    300
    Kudos:
    863
    Bookmarks:
    316
    Hits:
    15,294

    09 Jun 2026

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    C7

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya wondered if his heart was still beating in his chest. Ilya spoke words to Galina that did not resonate with him. He spewed bullshit and half lies and assured, “No, no thoughts for a while. They’ve been going away,” even though they were the only thing that echoed through his mind with each beat of his pulse. Ilya was dying. Slowly. With every breath. Either that, or going insane. Probably, most likely, insane. But above all, Ilya was lonely, and could not take the silence anymore.

    Ilya, 3:52 PM: This is the worst thing you have ever done to me, Shane Hollander.

    He felt so pathetic. Begging on his hands and knees for love. He wondered what he had done in a past life to constantly be pleading to god for any kind of love.

     

    Ilya Rozanov sustained a bad injury late last season that he just can't seem to shake. He feels himself start to slowly unravel, unable to face the fact that the one thing he has always been able to hold on to may not be his at all anymore. As his performance declines, his mental health begins to take a tumble with it.

    Set after the long game, where Ilya needs therapy, is in denial, and at war with himself.

    Title inspired from song Silver Spoon by Erin Lecount

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,785
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    379
    Kudos:
    480
    Bookmarks:
    167
    Hits:
    16,996

    09 Jun 2026

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    C17

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Contrary to popular belief, J.J. and Shane shared rooms on roadies just as much as Hayden and Shane did. Not that it mattered to fangirls online, who'd rather focus on Hayden's awkward side hugs with Shane as "proof" of their illicit gay relationship, and not the fact that the same instagram dump features Shane sitting in J.J.'s lap for half the photos.

    J.J. is not salty about this. He loves the gays. He wants gay fans. He has gay fans. He simply wants to understand, academically, why Hayden "three kids and a wife" Pike reads as the gay one when J.J. is right there looking the way he looks.

    Or: J.J. confirms something about Shane. Then he learns something else. He handles it. (Mostly.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,734
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    94
    Kudos:
    2,496
    Bookmarks:
    424
    Hits:
    13,671

    07 Jun 2026

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