Behind_Bespectacles



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    After the tuna melt meltdown, Shane meets Rose Landry, has several deeply inconvenient revelations, and decides to do the only sensible thing: win Ilya back with sincerity, logistics, and a frankly alarming amount of emotional effort.

    Ilya, meanwhile, mistakes every tender gesture for the kind prelude to an inevitable goodbye.

    Or: Shane is living in a romcom. Ilya is living in a Russian tragedy.

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    06 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    "You will bend for me many times, I think, before this production is over."

    Shane means to say no. He means to tell Ilya Rozanov—arrogant Bolshoi principal dancer and professional pain in his ass—to fuck off and stop moving set pieces without permission. Instead, he ends up on his knees in a dressing room, which is definitely not how the Royal Winnipeg Ballet’s stage manager is supposed to handle conflict resolution.

    Three weeks until opening night. One impossible rivalry. And absolutely no way this ends well.

    or: Ilya comes to Winnipeg for The Nutcracker. Shane tries very hard to hate him. The mind-blowing hate-sex doesn’t help.

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    29 Apr 2026

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    "Why are you not scared?"

    "I am scared," Ilya admits. "I just am tired. Of hiding me. Of hiding you. Of hiding how much I love you. I want to go to the rink— how do you say it? Authenti."

    "Authentically," Shane supplies, automatically.

    "Yes. Authentically. I want to go to the rink authentically, as me," Ilya confirms.

    Ilya looks at Shane, pauses until Shane meets his eyes. "I want to say: I, Ilya Rozanov, love a man, and that man's name is Shane Hollander."

     

    -

    Or, sometimes it takes a little more time, and some courage, to be with the one you love.

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    12 Apr 2026

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    “I’m right here. And you are okay, and you are safe, and healthy, and you are at home, yes? It is quiet, and nobody is there, nobody is bothering you. And the world is full of stupid idiots, but you are not one of them. And I am here. When you need me, I am here.”

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    or: The whole world thinks Shane is gay because of some stupid internet rumors, and he doesn't even have to confirm it. He's losing control of his entire life and he needs somewhere to put what little he does have.

    Ilya has open hands.

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    13 Mar 2026

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    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

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    06 Mar 2026