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Theseus' Guide to Ruining a Perfectly Good Ship in a Bottle by JustSumDude for stump_not_found
Fandoms: Gravity Falls
05 Jan 2026
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Summary
A list made on the loosest association of words, with an even looser tie to Stump_Not_Found's fanfiction "Theseus' Guide to Ruining a Perfectly Good Boat", number 4 will shock you!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,392
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 27
- Bookmarks:
- 6
- Hits:
- 250
Bookmarked by Basilfly
15 Jan 2026
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Summary
Ford has been making good progress on the portal, Bill has been making good progress on getting in the way, they both are making no progress on understanding each other.
Booze won’t make a lick of difference whether someone's rim gets salty, but hey – they’re already on the rocks.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,130
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 34
- Kudos:
- 164
- Bookmarks:
- 19
- Hits:
- 1,622
Bookmarked by Basilfly
02 Jan 2026
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Summary
Ford gazed into the pupil between his hands. He hadn't noticed the nictitating membrane–a sheath of clear tissue, rough and gooey like the skin of a fish, protecting the delicate organ underneath. That made some kind of sense. It had an iridescent sheen to it, glinting off the top of the otherwise pure blackness. Under the spell that told him it was breathtaking–that his god was no less than immaculate–he had a much realer thought. The thought that it was beautiful. Strange and alien, the way he'd compliment a rare deep-sea animal. He shuddered.
OR: Good old-fashioned Bill wins, featuring mind control.
Bookmarked by Basilfly
24 Dec 2025
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Summary
Ambivalence (n.):
A state of internal dialectical tension caused by coexisting contradictory emotions or motivations, often resulting in impaired emotional regulation.Three weeks after Ford’s near-death experience, the portal still hasn’t been dismantled. It feels like the universe is stuck in limbo: Stan just wants to be a good brother, but he doesn’t want to get caught up in his twin’s creepy demonic cult; Ford wants to leave his past behind, but not if he has to destroy the Earth in the process; and Bill wants everything, but the multiverse refuses to let him have it.
If they keep throwing spaghetti at the wall, maybe something will finally stick.
Series
- Part 3 of TiBiBiBaP canon
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A lone researcher discovers a door in his home that isn't supposed to be there. He does the only thing a scientist can do in that scenario: he contacts the local tourism bureau.
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Ford had only been to two other worlds where they considered the taste of human sexual fluids to be some kind of delicacy, and this one was definitely the best of the lot so far.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,649
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 12
- Kudos:
- 105
- Bookmarks:
- 13
- Hits:
- 2,012
Bookmarked by Basilfly
11 Nov 2025
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Summary
BillFord Week 2025!
It has been two years since the world ended and began once again. Unfortunately, it never gets easier.
No, not the end of the world, but everything else.
Something else.Stanford Pines is visited by "Bill Cipher" (or is he?) and realizes, bitterly, that it's time to think back on his past and reflect on his feelings. It hurts. A lot. He is completely unsurprised that it does. It's hard to convince himself that things are okay now, but his family are very eager to remind him how much he deserves to heal and to be loved. Maybe he can believe them, just a little.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,986
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 14
- Kudos:
- 44
- Bookmarks:
- 8
- Hits:
- 1,214
Bookmarked by Basilfly
15 Sep 2025
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Ford's presence is demanded at Bill's big party. Aggravatingly for him, he has no idea what the party is for. All he knows is that it's very... classy.
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Despite himself, Ford can't resist Bill atop the throne. Even with all the Henchmaniacs watching.
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- Words:
- 30,048
- Works:
- 6
- Bookmarks:
- 22
Bookmarked by Basilfly
20 Aug 2025
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Summary
When Ford summons Bill back into his mind after a particularly needy wet dream, the two of them decide to strike an agreement. They may be mortal enemies, but there's no reason they can't still fool around and get nasty with it. It's just sex; no strings attached.
Well… besides the one binding them physically, mentally, and emotionally, of course.
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Ford Pines makes a discovery. He takes it straight to the top.
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One year after Weirdmageddon, the Axolotl has returned Bill Cipher to Gravity Falls, intending to trial a new community rehabilitation program to refine the Theraprism's current failing methodologies. Embodied within the dispersed and recycled molecules of the human vessel Stanford Pines built for him 30 years ago, Bill Cipher is determined to show those bigwigs on the Theraprism board of directors what he's capable of.
Driven by the enduring need to spit in the face of authority Bill must apply himself to the task of delivering sincere and meaningful apologies to every creature he wronged in Gravity Falls to prove his penance to the townsfolk.
He intends to do this better than anyone ever has, had, or will and he has until the end of summer to prove he's truly sorry.
It'll take a scheme of epic proportions to pull this off before the summer's end. Luckily, scheming is what Bill does best. How BADS could it be?
The sequel to Knowing Me Knowing You. Inspired by
ABBABABBA.Series
- Part 3 of Knowing Me Knowing You
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Summary
ford gets hit with a weird sex pollen, his friends help him out
first chapter is fiddauthor, second is billford
Bookmarked by Basilfly
06 Jul 2025
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Bill pays no mind to what Ford's saying, finding other means of entertainment instead.
Bookmarked by Basilfly
21 Jun 2025
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
another GF fic in the Eye Sex tag let's goooo
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Ford takes a deep breath. It burns.
He was always going to end up here. It burns.
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Five instances where Ford spreads his wings in the multiverse that he will surely remember fondly. Everyone loves the freedom that a vague, murkily-defined relationship gives them; Ford is more than happy to focus on himself if Bill isn't willing to put a label on things.
This fic takes place in the world of Theseus' Guide to Ruining a Perfectly Good Boat by stump_not_found
Bookmarked by Basilfly
16 Jun 2025
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
Ford's dick gets maimed by a ceiling fan - not once, not twice - but [checks notes] ... five times in a row. Surely this won't scar him both mentally and physically for the rest of his 92-year lifespan, right?
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There is an anomaly inside Bill's body. Ford intends to neutralize it, but first, he has to survive the tour.
Bookmarked by Basilfly
08 Jun 2025
Bookmarker's Tags:
Bookmarker's Notes
Abort that thang! The exploration of Bill's insides was cleverly executed, especially considering how it all came from a single scrapped diagram.
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Having Bill back in Ford's life certitanly has its challenges, so when Bill starts acting odd, it only makes sense for him to investigate.
Needless to say, things do not go according to plan.
(Margarittabille universe)
Series
- Part 2 of Wastin' Away in Margaritaville
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Summary
“You're…pathetic.”
Bill's skin crawled. The room lit red. Without a second thought, he gathered up what was left behind his eye and spit. A thick static loogie hit Ford’s cheek, sizzling like a pinch of flower in an oil vat.
He could almost feel the bonfire warmth of real fury roar back to life where Ford stood. He basked for a heartbeat before Ford twisted the knife in the wall, catching strands of pride and relief like spun pasta around his blade. He leaned in, breathing fire through his teeth.
“I have pinned dead moths more challenging than you. You are a fucking insect to me. Act like it.”
Bill let himself whimper. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes . Bill didn't play stupid games, and he only won prizes he wanted. That meant he wanted this. He'd earned it.
OR: "I went to The Theraprism and all I got was this stupid sexual complex"
Bookmarked by Basilfly
26 May 2025