Star Trek: Greendale
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“So no matter what you’ve heard about this ship and this crew, I want you all to know that here on the U.S.S. Greendale , you’re already accepted. I wish you luck! You’re all going to die. Whoops! Ignore that last part. It was from a different motivational speech. You’re all going to live long happy lives, I promise. Unless you wear a red shirt. Just kidding! But seriously, I’d avoid wearing red around here.”
In the shuttle bay where this speech is being given to the latest batch of new arrivals, Ensign Jeff Winger, formerly Lieutenant Commander Winger of the U.S.S. Hamlin stares at the captain in disbelief, then looks down at his red uniform. Well, he thinks to himself, death beats living here.
Series
- Part 1 of Star Trek: Greendale
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Collective Holographic Imaging by Raj_Sound, StarfleetTimeLord
Fandoms: Community (TV), Star Trek
01 Aug 2022
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“Wait, this is the show?” Troy asks in slight confusion. “Not the part where we’re on a spaceship where we’re the last, worst hope for scientific exploration?”
“That’s the hook,” Abed says, nodding. “But ultimately every show is driven by its cast of characters and by familiar settings, and since we don’t get on the bridge this is where we, as the cast, congregate on a familiar, comforting set.”
Shirley’s brow furrows, in as much as it can furrow while sharing space with her forehead ridges. “But why does that set have to be this weird little room with the tacky upholstery, and the bright, Earth lighting, and that weird smell?”
“I don’t know what to tell you, it tested well.”
Series
- Part 2 of Star Trek: Greendale
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Intro to Desert Ecology by Raj_Sound, StarfleetTimeLord
Fandoms: Community (TV), Star Trek
15 Dec 2022
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“Can’t you put your whole ‘too cool for school’ thing on hold for one night to support a friend?” Annie implores him.
“I was there for Troy’s rap battle,” Jeff protests.
“I almost had her,” Troy laments, his expression haunted. Lieutenant Commander Bauer has some mad flow for an eighty-seven year old white lady. “My palms were sweaty, knees weak, arms were heavy…”
“Save it for the mic, Childish Gambino,” Pierce interjects. Troy doesn’t get the reference which, to be fair, is over three hundred years out of date.
Series
- Part 3 of Star Trek: Greendale
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“Do starships normally have flags?” Abed asks, staring at the flag curiously.
“Why wouldn’t they?” Troy replies. The water ships from ye olde times had them. Seems like the kind of tradition that might continue into the 24th Century.
Annie eyes the insignia skeptically. “They definitely don’t have flags that look like that,” she says, frowning.
Series
- Part 4 of Star Trek: Greendale
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“Didn’t your husband leave you for an Orion stripper?” Britta snaps. She regrets it as soon as she sees Shirley’s hurt expression. “I’m sorry. That was mean.”
“It’s alright,” Shirley says diplomatically, silently considering how she will make Britta pay for this later. Like gazpacho, chlodnik, and potato salad, revenge is best served cold. I think we can agree that our taste in men leaves a little to be desired.
“We’re 24th Century women. We have to be able to talk about something besides men.”
“I’m not trying to pass some feminism test,” Shirley scoffs. “I like talking about men. And looking at them.” She points to the well-sculpted backside of Jeff Winger, who is hanging a sign on the door to the same holodeck they just left.” Mmm, mmm. Don’t you want to break off a piece of that?”
Series
- Part 5 of Star Trek: Greendale
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“We already have one gay and one lesbian,” Pierce complains. “Isn’t that enough LGBTQness for one study group?”
“Still not gay,” Jeff says flatly, assuming Pierce was talking about him.
“Still not a lesbian,” Britta adds, assuming Pierce was talking about her.
“Statistically, at least one of us is at least half-gay,” Pierce asks, assuming Jeff and Britta wouldn’t have objected if it didn’t apply to them.
“Is he talking about me?” Troy asks, assuming nothing.
Series
- Part 6 of Star Trek: Greendale
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Pirates of the Cardassian Union by Raj_Sound, StarfleetTimeLord
Fandoms: Community (TV), Star Trek
07 Oct 2025
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“Any life signs?” Riker asks, not expecting to find any.
“None,” Keru replies. “There are trace warp signature readings, but it’s probably from the core detonation.” He frowns, finding something unusual in his scans. “I’m also detecting some kind of transponder beacon inside the wreckage. It’s transmitting.”
“Onscreen,” Riker orders, distracted from the warp signature.
DeSalvo appears on screen, no longer on the Galor’s bridge. Instead, he appears to be inside a small, but comfortable stateroom. “To Whom It May Concern: If you are watching this, it means that I am dead,” he proclaims.
“Must be a recorded message,” Troi notes. She frowns, annoyed with herself, having hoped that she moved past the ‘stating the obvious’ phase of her career. Old habits die hard.
Series
- Part 7 of Star Trek: Greendale