Chapter Text
Jason woke up late in the morning with a crick in his neck and something hard pressing against his arm. He groaned and raised a hand to rub his face only for it to smack wood. Wood?
He shot up and rammed his face into the underneath of the coffee table where his nest had been. “Ow, what the heck?” Jason carefully shuffled out and stood up, inspecting himself. “I’m back to myself! Finally!” The newly turned human cheered and stretched, celebrating.
“Alright, now it’s time to eat some food normally and yell at the idiots,” he declared, marching towards the kitchen.
As Jason scooped the last of the waffles from the waffle iron onto the platter, Tim stumbled in deliriously. Jason wordlessly handed the insomniac gremlin a mug of coffee who accepted it with a hum of gratitude.
Half amused, Jason took a seat directly across from Tim, waiting to see how long it would take him to notice the other. Meanwhile, Tim was muttering about the possibilities of someone being turned into a feather.
Jason was halfway done with his second plate when Steph walked in and yelled, “Holy shit, Jason?”
Tim jolted and stared at Jason for the first time in five days. “Jason? You’re back?”
Their surprised shouts brought the rest of the idiots rushing in. Jason reluctantly let Dick hug him. “Little Wing you’re alright!”
“How long were you sitting there?”
“What happened to you?” Dick wailed before letting go as Jason tried to gag him with a napkin.
Cass stopped them and grabbed Jason’s arm firmly. “Missed you little brother.”
“For the last time, I’m older-”
“Where did you go, Todd?” Damian interrupted, brandishing a butter knife.
Bruce sighed and removed the knife from his youngest’s hand. He turned to his other son with a constipated look. “Jaylad…”
Giving up and going back to his seat, Jason stuffed his mouth full of waffles and said, “Just want to say that you guys are idiots. I spelt it out for you, literally! And none of you noticed!”
“How were we supposed to know?” Steph protested, folding her arms across her chest defensively. Jason hissed like a feral cat as Bruce hugged him.
“I was the only one to directly communicate with your duck to gather more information. These imbeciles were the ones scrambling around like headless chickens,” Damian groused.
“First off, you were talking to the real Red Quack, not me. Secondly, you were ‘scrambling around like headless chickens’ too, baby bat. Thirdly, I typed it out onto a laptop. It was clear. It was explicit! How did you not know?” Jason demanded, glaring at his family.
“Wait so you were actually turned into a duck?” Steph asked incredulously.
Tim squinted at his older brother. “You were the one chasing me around the Manor, weren’t you? Oh my gosh, it was you! Jason, how could you? I thought we had something!”
Dick, ever the peacemaker, stepped in before World War III could begin. “Look, to be fair, we thought you trained Red Quack to help your pranks. You do do that a lot, Jay.”
“How did you do that?” Bruce spoke up. Tim groaned at his ‘Jason totally has a duck army’ face. Cass rolled her eyes at her family’s shenanigans and Steph facepalmed.
“Hey, demon brat wasn’t lying when he said that ducks are smart!”
“So you weren’t a duck?” Cass asked, tilting her head. She was confused now. Was Jason a duck or not? Was this another elaborate prank?
Bruce frowned, “How did you get Zatanna to play along with this?”
A metaphorical light bulb lit up inside Jason’s head and he smirked at his family mysteriously. Damian groaned, “Of course, Todd would do this. I should have known that someone of your social standing would commit such a disgusting and backhanded-”
“I can’t believe you’ve done this! We were so worried!” Dick scolded, shaking a condescending finger at him.
Cass squinted at Jason who discreetly winked before she began laughing silently. “Little brother, let me join in next time?”
Bruce turned to her, horrified. “Cass, no. I forbid you.” The black-haired girl only giggled and patted her father’s arm in sympathy.
“Jason! My waffle buddy, how could you do this without me?” Steph cried as she snatched the platter of waffles away. She took a seat and began to eat, stuffing her cheeks full like a grumpy chipmunk.
“That’s what you’re mad about?” Dick whirled to stare at her, floored. “He literally- ugh Jason Peter Wayne, you are in so much trouble!”
Jason placed his hands behind his head and leaned back as the others continued to yell. He was the picture of tranquility amidst a turbulent storm.
“Hey, wait a minute, you weren’t there when Dami said that,” Tim said suspiciously, blue eyes narrowed.
The commotion paused. “Said what?”
“That ducks were smart. Unless you were the duck that talked to us…”
“Yeah well this isn’t the 15th century. Cameras and audio bugs exist,” Jason stated, folding his arms a tad defensively. The fun had just started. THere was no way he was letting Tim take this away from him so early. Not after all the suffering he had to go through.
“Alfred said absolutely no spying in the bedrooms,” Bruce pointed out.
Steph whistled loudly, “Oh someone’s in trouble~”
“Little Wing you didn’t-”
“Tt you may be a fool, but surely even you wouldn’t dare risk the wrath of Pennyworth.”
“Jason was the duck,” Cass concluded, ending the whole charade. She shook her head at her oldest younger brother’s expression. “We prank later. No more hurting family like that.”
“What- Cass!” Jason reeled from the betrayal as the yelling picked up again. After failing to heard from all the racket from the others, Jason felt extremely bored so he waved a hand and started walking away.
Unfortunately, Dick immediately noticed. “Jason, where do you think you're going?”
“Don’t walk away! We’re not done here, mister duck overlord!” Steph ordered, pointing her fork at him.
“Todd, I demand that you stop this instant! This conversation is not finished!” Meanwhile Tim decided to give up on all hope for Jason and eat his breakfast like it was a typical Saturday at Wayne Manor.
“Hey, what’s the big idea?” Jason snapped as Bruce picked up his son and threw him over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry, bringing him back to the kitchen.
As the rest of the siblings danced around, chanting insults, words of concern, and inhuman screeches of frustration like some sort of satanic cult, Bruce stated, “You’re grounded.”
Poor Alfred walked into the kitchen to make breakfast for everyone; he had just got back from his very Bat-free vacation. He stared at the rest of the Waynes with a tired look and sighed.
“Wha- you can’t ground me! I’m an adult!” Jason snarled, immediately trying to escape. Unfortunately, Bruce had a lot of practice in wrangling his unruly children.
“Nuhuh Little Wing, you can never escape the Batdad. Never ever ever,” Dick teased, flicking Jason’s nose. He quickly removed his hand before the latter could bite him.
“It’s what you get, traitor,” Tim called from the table. Steph cackled like a mad villain that would put the Joker’s laugh to shame.