Chapter Text
Tony woke up on his own, which was an interesting feeling if ever he had one. Between spaces, he rolled around to his back and sat up with his legs crossed in front of him.
"JARVIS, day and time." He said, rubbing at his eyes.
"It is Friday, sir, seven-fifty-three-am." The AI replied, going on to tell the weather and a few headlines that Tony had no interest in.
Tony was in his Little room, which meant Steve much have put him to bed after they'd all fallen asleep in his room.
Tony could feel his Little side pushing at the back of his head, but he decided that he didn't want to be Little today--not after everything that happened yesterday.
Standing up, Tony moved to drop the side of the crib and stepped out, trying not to think about everything that had happened yesterday with Clint and Phil.
They really had been amazingly patient, and saying Tony didn't have fun would be an out-right lie. But the whole day was a different scenario than Tony was used to, and the fact that he liked it scared him. A lot more than he'd cared to admit. Therefore, denial was quickly becoming his best friend.
He stripped himself of the onesie Steve must have dressed him in along with diaper strapped around his waist, deciding to ignore the fact that it was wet. It seemed to be happening more and more, even if Tony was Big the night he fell asleep. He had yet to tell this information to Steve as he was sure it would prompt another discussion he didn't want to have.
Frustrated with the nursery's small amount of adult clothing, Tony decided to just put on a pair of sweat pants commando style and crept out of the room. He poked his head out of the doorway, checking to see if anyone was up and about before letting the rest of his body follow to the elevator.
Just as he pushed the button to call the elevator, he heard Steve call his name. Tony winced, turning around with a fake smile.
"Hey Steve-o," Tony said with false casualty. "Morning."
Steve's brows knitted as he asked, "why are you up so early?"
"Well, you know," Tony stated, trying to think of an excuse as he patted his legs. "Work."
Steve pursed his lips and nodded his head with narrowed eyes, walking towards the kitchen island again. "Not this early--you need to eat first, please.."
Tony sighed, knowing he'd never be able to get around Steve and his "requests." Not while he was in Caregiver-mode. His "pleases" weren't so much asking as telling in a polite way. It was a punctuation mark that told Tony to do as he was requested or he'd face time-out. Whether he was Big or Little didn't matter.
Trudging over to the counter, Tony took a seat on the other side of the island, watching Steve chop spinach Tony was sure was going to be snuck into Bucky's eggs.
The Little hated vegetables, but Steve founds some interesting was to ensure Bucky still ate them. Tony didn't mind so much, but he was pretty placid as a Little. Even more so, as of late.
Tony laid his head on the counter, trying not to let his leg bounce with his nerves. He could be in his lab, a safe distance from Steve and whatever conversation he thought they should have. But he didn't wake up early enough for that scenario.
Not to mention the last time he did that, Steve had given him a long lecture about the rules of the house and Tony had sunk for several days following.
"So, what's really up?" Steve asked casually as he opened the case of eggs and pulled out two.
Tony shrugged, using one finger to trace imaginary circles onto the counter. He’d rather just disappear for a few days.
“You know you won’t be going anywhere until you do.” Steve said in a matter-of-fact tone that Tiny knew better than to mess with.
Tony knew that if he sat here and whined long enough, Steve would give up and let him go. But the Little side of him wanted to blurt our everything and just hug Steve for the rest of his days. So Tony sat, quietly thinking everything over as Steve cracked a few eggs.
“Why are you up so early?” Tony asked, cursing his voice for betraying him and coming out more Little than Big.
Steve looked over his shoulder, then turned back to his pan as he said, “I always get up this early. Went for a run and came back to start up breakfast for everyone.”
“Oh,” Tony said, eyes falling back to the counter. He had never really thought about the food Steve put in front of him before. He just kind of ate it and went about the rest of his day. Now, Tony wondered how long it normally took Steve to make everything and get everything set up at the table. All without asking help from anyone.
Tony looked up at his Caregiver, the odd angle masking Tony crack a tiny smile. Steve was always really cool—he was Captain America, after all. But, Tony never thought about all the crazy things Steve has to do to keep him and Bucky happy. Tony couldn’t imagine having to do all of that on his own. Maybe Steve shouldn’t have to? Tony could at least help set the table or something.
Before Tony could get up, though, he heard the clunk of plastic hitting wood as Steve set out several plates. Tony was late to the draw. Again.
He let out a sigh and turned back around, letting his head fall back onto his arms. If he couldn’t help Steve, what could he do? A card maybe? Or a picture! Yeah, he could do a picture with Steve and Bucky and Tony in front of the tower. And he’d have to add Clint and uncle Phil! Maybe even Natasha and Thor and Rhodey and Pepper! He’d need a big piece of paper. And supervision.
Tony sighed. Try to see what a crayon tastes like one time and, suddenly, you can’t have them unless someone sits with you.
Tony kicked his feet a bit as he thought about all of the things he could draw around everybody. He’d add Dummy and You and Butterfingers, too. He wasn’t sure how to get JARVIS in the picture, but he’d think of something.
Turning around in his chair, Tony faces Steve and asked, “Daddy, can I color?”
It took a second for Tony to realize why Steve’s face twisted into a question. Tony puffed up, trying to seem big. He knew he said he wouldn’t be Little, but it was really hard when all he wanted was Steve. And to color.
“Yeah, baby boy. Let me get your crayons, okay?” Steve said.
Tony nodded, forgetting all about being Big when Steve came back with a large pack of crayons and a few pieces of paper.
“These are just for Tony crayons, special for you.” Steve said as he pulled out a large egg-shaped ball of wax.
There were eight in total, covering the six main colors and black and brown. Tony was too emerged in the fact that he has special crayons to look at the box and see that they were specially made for young kids and Little’s. They were made to be easier to hold and harder to chew on.
“You can color until breakfast is ready, okay?”
Tony nodded, grabbing on of the eggs and dragging it across the top of the paper. He smiled to himself, doing it again and again until he had a thick line for the sky. Then he set about drawing the team, swirling colors all around.
Bucky came trudging into the room a few minutes later, deciding to take a seat at the island as well, looking over Tony’s shoulder at his drawing.
“Hey, good morning.” Steve greeted with a smile.
Bucky mumbled a, “morning,” not taking his eyes off Tony’s drawing. “Why’s the baby up?”
“I think he’s just having a hard time, bud.” Steve said. “Which we all need to talk about.”
Bucky’s brows furrowed as his eyes landed on Steve for the first time that day. “What do you mean?”
Steve blinked, holding up a finger to let Bucky know he’d answer the question in a second before turning it Tony and saying, “Hey, baby. Can you put your crayons down for a second.”
Tony nodded, drawing one last line before letting the crayon fall with the others, rolling a few inches before stopping.
“Boys, I think we need to have a talk.” Steve said, the words immediately quickening Tony’s Heart.
“What ‘bout?” Bucky asked. When Tony looked over, the older boy seemed just as scared.
“Well, before we go onto that, I want you all to know that neither of you are in any trouble. We’re not here to argue or be angry. This is a safe place, okay.” Steve waited for both boys to nod before going on.
“Do you all remember one of the most important rules we have?”
Neither boy had the confidence to answer, so Steve went on. “We have a rule that says don’t fight headspace, right?”
Two head nodded, and Steve continued, leaning against the island as he spoke. “I’ve noticed, recently, that we may not totally be following that rule.”
Immediately, Tony’s head went down and his shoulder slumped. Bucky looked a little more confused, but seemed to understand that this wasn’t totally about him.
“I want you all to be happy here. I want you to get the most out of headspace. I know that it can get hard with missions and bumps into our schedule, but it’s still important to remember.” Steve looked from one boy to the next. “I want you to be totally happy when you enter headspace. And, if that means you text out the waters for a different age range, that’s okay. You don’t have to stick to just one age. I know you both have places where you feel comfortable, but this is also a judgement-free zone.
“No one will say anything so long as you are the best you possible.”
Steve wasn’t surprised by the silence that followed, both boys seeming to mull over what was said. What he didn’t expect, however, what Bucky’s deep inhale of breath before he looked up and asked, “D-Daddy?”
“Yeah, bud?” Steve asked, trying not to show his surprise.
“If... if maybe wanted to...” Bucky sighed, twisting his fingers around one another on a way that looked almost painful. “If maybe wanted to t-try... try pull-ups?”
Steve was taken aback, though he tried not to let it show. He’d never really seen Bucky take an interest in anything besides his big-boy underwear. But, it may have simply been something Bucky didn’t feel was okay to share until now. Not that Steve would have ever punished or said no to the Little for his wants, but it may have been an internal struggle Bucky was working with just as much as Tony was—though Bucky clearly hid it better.
“Of course, sweet boy. You can try whatever you’d like.” Steve smiled, then added, “Within reason.”
Bucky flashed a smile brighter than the face of the sun, and it set Steve’s heart on fire.
After a moment, Steve turned to Tony. “What about you?”
Tony wouldn’t make eyes contact with Steve, settling on playing with the hem of his shirt.
After several minutes of silence, Steve was about to call it quits when Tony’s voice broke through.
“Me too?” It was barely over a whisper as Tony spoke, looking over to Bucky.
“You too what, bud?” Steve pushed. Then, just the sell the part of stupid, he asked, “Do you want pull-ups, too?”
Tony shook his head, brunet hair flying all over the place. “Me too be little-er.”
Steve smiled, only able to imagine the amount of effort it must have taken Little Tony to voice something he wanted. Maybe it had helped that Bucky had gone first, if only to show that Steve wouldn’t be mad or judge.
Then, just to make sure he got everything from Tony, Steve asked, “How do you mean?”
It tookTony a second to think through his answer. “Like when un’ca Phil fed.”
“Yeah?” Steve smiled.
“Uh huh! Like best when daddy did!” Tony smiled, encouraged by Steve’s tone and grin.
“Well, I can most defiantly do that.” Steve stood up and walked around the counter. He wrapped his arm around both Littles, hugging them tightly. “I love you boys.”
“Love you more!” Tony and Bucky said in unison.
“Love you most.” Steve gave a last squeeze, letting the boys go. “I’m going to finish up breakfast for everyone.”
“Everyone?” Bucky asked, twisting in his seat side to side.
“Yeah. We’re going to have Petter and Clint over for a play date.” Steve grabbed the carton of eggs and started cracking them into a bowl.
“Yey!” Bucky cheered, jumping off the chair. “Get to play with everyone!”
Steve cracked a smile, watching as Bucky ran back to the living room, pulling out toys and talking about all the games him and Clint could play. Tony, however, looked less thrilled.
“What’s wrong, buddy?”
Tony shrugged, picking up one of his crayons and letting it hover above the paper.
“You can tell me, you know.” Steve said as he wished the eggs. “No judgement.”
Tony looked up, mouth twisted before he said, “what if no one wants to play with me?”
“Oh, buddy. Petter’s been looking forward to playing with you for a long time!” Steve said. It didn’t matter that they had planned this late last night—Tony didn’t need to know that. Plus, Peter really had been looking forward to playing. “He’s been dying to show you his new shoes!”
Tony’s face seemed to look up a bit. “Really?”
“Uh huh.” Steve poured the eggs into a pan, filling the kitchen with sizzling.
“Gonna go play with Buh’ie!” Tony declaimed, skipping from the seat and running off to the living room.
Steve had to admit it, he was very interested to see how this day would go.